November 25, 2012

Reality Rundown: Malcolm In a Spa Towel Alert!

The Amazing RaceSurvivor: Philippines

The Amazing Race - Following up on last week's To Be Continued, James and Abba are required to track down their passports before being able to check in.  They have a fair amount of time to search/call the cops/request new passports since Josh/Brent and Abbie/Ryan are still far behind.  Josh and Brent don't actually finish the Detour and have to take a four hour penalty since the pool has to close.  But the bottom two teams do stick to their agreement to do this leg together, helping each other out along the way.  James and Abba are still searching when Abbie/Ryan and Josh/Brent check-in, so they are still in the race after being complete and utter failures.  James and Abba come back to the mat passport-less and Phil announces it's a non-elimination leg and they have to find their passports to move on.  ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME?  This show is absolutely horseshit.

The next leg of the race kicks off by sticking around Moscow, so convenient for James and Abba who need more time to find passports.  The first clue is a Roadblock where they need to calculate timezones of five Russian cities (but they get just brief glimpses of the maps and it's a timed test).  Jaymes and Lexi, front of the pack, pair together to complete the task together which is smart since both are kinda dumb at times.  Twinnies Natalie and Nidiya use their Express Pass because they have to use it this weekend and timezones suck.   After, there's a Detour to  perform a Russian soldier dance or identify historic Russian leader lookalikes.  Pick the dancing it's like Russian breakdancing!  Other James has an injured ankle and has a hard time dancing. Worst Chippendales ever.  Thankfully he stands up for his male stripping routes and finishes this task.

Jaymes and James, the only team I am routing for this in this, checks in as team #1 and win a trip to Costa Rica.  Netx to check in are Trey/Lexi and Natalie/Nadiya.  The other three teams of losers start racing and by this point, I could care less.  We just watched this lame leg and now we have to watch a bunch of dummies do it.  Abbie/Ryan do the tasks, James/Abba wander the streets trying to find their passports, and Josh/Brent play four hour catchup to James/Abba who needs someone to be a translator for them.  Some youth helps translate for them, so they get back into the race to at least complete the leg in case the passports arrive.  Ryan bombs the timezone test a bunch of times and gets stressed.  Josh/Brent's smarts help them makeup some good times, acing the timezone quiz and awesomely identifying the historical figures.  The non-elimination means absolutely nothing as James and Abba check in last and never get their passports.  I wonder if they'll be trapped in Russia forever with Toni and Dallas...

Survivor: Philippines - Abi and Pete are alarmed at what went down, but Skupin knows in order to win the million he's gotta make real moves.  Skupin's bestie Lisa is torn between undying loyalty to an alliance that hates her and moving on.  But Lisa is kinda content potentially losing to a nicer alliance because Pete and Abi suck.

This week's Reward Challenge is another team task: a head-to-head drum flipping battle.  It's not an easy one to recap, but it's an interesting physical challenge requiring lots of running.  Abi finally gets to participate in a challenge and proves why they never used her: she flips over the other team's drum.  Skupin also does the wrong drum flip, but his is the worst possible moment as he gives the other team a victory.  Carter, Pete, Abi and Malcolm are treated to a day at the Survivor spa with a bath, mani/pedi, massage, cocktails and food.  There's an agreement for no game talk and instead just letting a bunch of Filipino women bathe them.

Turns out the losers had a pretty relaxing day at camp too... until Abi returns.  She won't STFU, yapping about how amazing it was.  She never learns.  Unspoken at camp it's completely obvious everyone wants Abi gone immediately.  So with another possible easy week ahead, Malcolm starts gaming and works to make a final four deal.  Talking with Skupin, Malcolm proposes it be the two of them plus Lisa and Denise.  Skupin is game, but Lisa trusts Penner more and would prefer Penner/Carter.  Penner likes the offer but he thinks it's too early to make such a deal.  This unwillingness to commit solidifies Lisa and Skupin's opinions and shake on a final four with Denise and Malcolm in the woods.

The immunity challenge is to maneuver a buoy through a tangled rope, then around a balance beam, and then through a water obstacle course.  Pete and Abi need immunity the most, but they don't make it past the first round of qualifiers.  Denise, Carter and Skupin battle it out in the final three water round.  Carter wins immunity but from us viewers no respect because he still seems like a dope.

The plan is set to vote for Pete and Abi, 3/3, and if the idol isn't played everyone votes for Abi in the tiebreaker.  Penner honestly believes the six will stay strong and not make a stupid decision to save them.  Oh boy, foreshadowing.  Abi and Pete want to try to get rid of Malcolm since he's powerful with an idol.  Abi approaches Lisa and Lisa kindly decides the offer to vote off Malcolm, which is pretty hilarious.  Carter is a dunce but correctly says, "Well I'm in a pretty good spot."  Penner also says no, so Pete pitches the idea to Skupin.  Suddenly Skupin wonders if he made a poor decision earlier making a deal with Malcolm, the guy most likely to beat anyone in the end.  Malcolm is aware of the plan but fears if he plays the idol he loses his leverage.  The game is on, yo!

Tribal time!  Malcolm speaks openly about knowing he's a target but won't admit it's smart to get rid of him.  The attempt to vote off Malcolm isn't subtle, as Pete brings up they need one more to vote off Malcolm.  Abi acknowledges her attitude is "not gentle" but uses the English as a second language excuse.  Denise basically says it's a crock of shit and Abi is just a nasty person.  Denise rules, you guys.  Denise continues to be amazing when Probst asks if it would be smart to keep Abi around to beat in the end.  Denise says if you want to play that way, yeah, but she doesn't want to win against an unlikable deadweight or bring a person that she'd beat by default.  Abi is too dense to notice that she's the unlikable one, but Probst and her claim it's cultural (uhh no).  Denise tries to explain herself a little more, with Abi butting in and getting fiesty.  Once the votes are tallied, Abi tearfully plays her hidden immunity idol and so her alliance member Pete is eliminated instead.