November 18, 2012

Reality Rundown: Skupin Takes a Stand

The Amazing Race - The next leg of the race brings the teams to Moscow, Russia. But there's lots of airport stupidity, like Trey and Lexi's inability to retain the name of the kiosk they need to visit (paper and pen, people). Thankfully the Twinnies get the four of them on a flight arriving at 4am; other teams get a flight coming in at 2am. Other teams take normal, reasonable flights too. Except Abbie and Ryan, the race meanies, take a risk by booking tickets on a flight with a very quick layover in Frankfurt. The Beekman Boys end up on this same flight by using the wisest choice of all: a coin flip. I hate you. The universe hates them too because the flight to Frankfurt is delayed and they miss the connection. The next flight to Moscow gets them there are 3:10PM, practically a half day behind the others in terms of this race. While waiting around the two teams make a pact to run the whole leg together.

Teams land in Moscow and, what a surprise, have to wait until 9:30AM to retrieve the clue (still doesn't help the Frankfurters much). The Twinnies, daters, and Chippendales group together, while Abba/James/Long Hair Don't Care go solo and get to the Detour faster. This week's choices are to search a card catalog (in Russian) to retrieve library books or go synchronized swimming. Do they have the Dewey Decimal System in Russia? Abba/James and Trey/Lexi go to the library and Chippendales/Twinnies head over to the pool. Long Hair Don't Care quits the library to try the swimming because reading Russian is ridic (except Trey/Lexi figured it out sooo). Both tasks suck a lot and the Twinnies want to use the Express Pass but Jaymes/James point out it's a total waste because the other teams are HOURS behind so they aren't getting eliminated. Wise call, boys.

After Detouring, the teams head to the "Trees of Love" which are a made up of a ton of locks. The "trees" each have a ribbon and one teammate will have to use a circle of keys to open the locks. It's like being a janitor in a race for a million dollars. When the ribbon unravels there's a ruple inside (Russian dollar dollar bill y'all) and they need to find the location on the back (The Bolshoi Theater) to check into the Pit Stop. Trey and Lexi, who I totally underestimate, are team #1 and win a trip to Maui. Long Hair Don't Care continue their stupidity, leaving their bags in a cab- including their passports. When James/Abba check into the Pit Stop they can't officially check in without having passports so in order to move in they must retrieve the passports from the mysterious cab. Does this mean that complete flight losers Abbie/Ryan and Brent/Josh, who are so far behind they HAVE to swim because the library closed, stand a chance? TO BE CONTINUED. Ah damn you, Race!

Survivor: Philippines - Turns out last week there was no plan and Penner did sort of unintentionally screw it up. The goal was to get rid of Pete and instead Jeff went home- whoops. Malcolm and Lisa make nice, and she's so surprised he is so forgiving. The big issue is that there are five original Tandangs left and if they all stick together, they'll pick of the rest. Penner sees the divide between nice Lisa/Skupin and mean Abi/Pete/Artis and wants to try to sway the duo to his side. Penner plays therapist and kinda cracks Lisa's past and why she's such a people-pleaser to try and be liked. Penner is such a Dr. Melfi.

In the reward challenge, the survivors are split into two teams to crawl through mud and rice to retrieve bags of balls to shoot into a basket. The winning team gets to go to a local village as Survivor ambassadors and bring school supplies and toys to the local children, with a feast as a thank you. I love this giving back reward. No surprise, Abi is chosen to sit out of the challenge and I'm pretty sure she never is in any team challenges. She'd probably pitch a fit halfway anyways. The red team (Malcolm, Denise, Carter, Penner) smoke the yellow team and win reward.

The winners visit the village and have the immediate reward of children's smiles. The village is warm and welcoming, busting out the clay pot pinatas for the festive occasion. Beers are cracked, food is served, and the game talk begins. They can't believe Skupin would tolerate being treated like shit and stick with that alliance. Their goal when they get home: get Lisa and Skupin to jump ship. Speaking of, at camp Abi and Pete are super passive aggressive towards Lisa. Super rude. And yet they stick with a trio that shits all over them out of this weird loyalty, yet the other alliances wants and values them BOTH. Ugh, idiots.

For immunity, survivors have to balance an over-sized paddle while maneuvering six balls into the slots at the end. This seems tedious but I'm so glad it's not a puzzle. Skupin wins immunity and god I hope he uses this newfound safety and possible power to make a less dumb choice in alliance.

Sure enough when the tribe returns to camp, Abi wishes they could vote off annoying Skupin instead of Penner. Abi is worried about Lisa and Skupin, but Pete shushes her and assures her to have faith. The other side decides to put their votes towards Artis, since Abi has the idol and could pass it to Pete. Thing is, they are only an alliance of four and need someone to flip. Penner breaks it down to Lisa in TV terms: who would viewers want her to align with? Some assholes or the routable cool folks? Lisa still wants to be loyal (giant eyeroll). Penner continues his campaigning and pleas to Skupin. Skupin would switch but only if Lisa is OK with it.

Tribal time and I don't know what's going to happen. Lisa talks about how graceful the others were to her after selling them out, not her alliance who were kinda turds. Abi gets all pissy again. Artis says Tandang is one of the strongest tribes in Survivor history and all is going as planned. Denise points out no one should feel so comfortable, which Artis chimes in saying he doesn't feel 100% safe and he could be blindsided any time. Talk turns to Skupin, Lisa, and their loyalty for the zillionth time. Penner hopes the numbers will come his way, so Probst asks ticking time bomb Abi who they might not have. Now a person who understands Survivor knows you don't answer this. Abi says Lisa. Ouch. So the question of this week's vote is will Lisa still put up with being kicked around by a group of turds? NO!  Skupin (not Lisa) take a stance against the group of dicks and Artis gets totally blindsided.

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