New Season! The Bachelor - Week 1
In his Bachelor prep time (which apparently includes all the mise en place for the strawberries you put in champagne glasses), his buddy from last season Arie makes a surprise visit. The laugh about elimination HA HA HA the same girl crushed our hearts and talk about the healing process. Sean practices how he'll say "Will you accept this rose?", role plays dumping a girl, and gets kissing tips from Arie. Yes, kissing tips because the ladies loved Arie and Sean was a gross tonguey mess.
What kind of nutters will be obsessing over Sean? Roll the contestant video package! Vying for that Neil Lane engagement ring is a wedding dress designer, a girl who got her heart broken twice who gets fake excited about Sean, a single mom with two kids, and even some black women because this show will deny that racism lawsuit buuuut yeah, I think they learned. One woman wants to re-enact 50 Shades of Gray with Sean and I'm wondering if she knows anything of this kind-mannered fella that probably isn't big on S&M. An adopted girl who bounced through the foster care system is a personal organizer for a living and the first to cry in the interviews. Oh and a girl with one arm; that's a first!
With a montage of ladies done, accordion-hand host Chris Harrison welcomes Sean on the slicked down driveaway. A good luck shake of hands and Chris heads inside to get wasted while the limos of future exes of Sean step out of the limos. Second girl out Jackie plants a big red lipsticked kiss on Sean's cheek and the third girl uses her stuffed bra to wipe off that lipstick. Ew? "Cruise ship entertainer" Kelly from Nashville wins the prize for fakest tan (and corniest song). Bachelor Pad 3 Paige gets another chance to get a rose (and a smaller chance at STDs) by joining the cast of this show. Best entrance: a girl who falls while doing a back handspring to impress Sean. Cutest idea: Desiree who suggests tossing coins into the fountain to make a wish. Craziest broad is substitute teacher Lindsay who shows up in a wedding dress AND kisses Sean. She is not at all unbalanced. The surprise of the night is tiny tan brunette Tierra, who shows Sean her unfinished heart tattoo, gets a first impression rose without even entering the house. The other girls are instantly jealous. The last limo exit is a surprise: Kacie B, the nice girl from Ben's season, and she wants a second chance. Maybe they dated before? I don't know but when Sean says "I wonder what the other girls will think" I think we all know the answer: YOUSKANKASSWHOREWHYAREYOUBACKITSNOTFAIR!!!
This season on The Bachelor: girls being catty, global makeout sessions, and helicopters!!