March 4, 2013

The Bachelor: The Women Bicker More

3/04/2013 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
The Bachelor - The Women Tell All

If you're new to my recaps you're going to learn something new this week: I hate the Women Tell All specials (and men's version too).  I hate recapping reunions because it's pointless and boring.  It's another episode devoted to arguing about the season's bully while girls with no screen-time try their hardest to get cast on Bachelor Pad. But I'm loyal for you so let's get this torture over.

Sean and Chris Harrison kick-off the night with a pre-filmed segment of raiding Bachelor fan viewing parties.  Think of it as the lamest panty raid ever.  But Sean comes equipped with roses and stupid deep sayings about the love of fans.  The biggest hoopla is when he intrudes on the Delta Gamma sorority house's weekly viewing party and the girls scream like One Direction came in.  Ummmm I think not.

Chris introduces all the women then plays a season recap clip, which I fast-forwarded through because I've watched this show- dur.  Des didn't know what kind of drama she was getting into, but Lesley M. as a loyal fan expected it.  Of course there really wasn't that much drama except for the monster that is Tierra.  Tierra is being caged backstage before she can come out and deny so more, which allows the women lots of time to bash her behind her back again.  The majority of the girls, and the audience, feel Tierra is a faker and distracted them enough that it impacted their potential dull relationship with Sean.

Tierra is freed from backstage to show us her alleged sparkle once more.  The audience gives her a weak applause, setting up the awkward room right away.  Tierra says she know she'd bring a love/hate because she "lights up a room" with her personality and people judge her for being so beautiful and good.  Ehhhhhhhh.  She believes the first impression rose made her the immediate first target and no one wanted to be her friends (but she didn't want to be their friends either).  Tierra felt bullied and it was a house of mean girls, claiming she never named-names when talking smack.  The crowd is appalled that Tierra is no apologetic for her nasty behavior.  Chris Harrison then opens up the floor for the women to rip into her.  Robyn calls her delusional, Jackie says Tierra is a faker, and Selma said she was rude even Selma encouraged the girls to back away.  And then they babble on more about the stupid St. Croix fight where Tierra claims she was ganged up on and AshLee was a bully.  Ugh, you're both awful.  Eventually she apologizes for being terrible, explains the "sparkle" comes from her child pageant days, and she's engaged.  The moral of the story is even if you're a jerk, just pleasantly say good morning and everyone will at least be slightly happier.

Chris Harrison starts to bring "favorites" up to the hot seat and next up is one-armed Sarah.  She still wonders what changed in his head to dump her (no chemistry, grating voice, meh personality).  Sarah is tired of the "You're great but not for me" and worries that it's the arm.  Des was falling for Sean and thought they were a perfect pair; she just wants to make someone happy.  Her brother regrets being a dick at hometowns and considers that sure it's possible his horribleness got her dumped.  Des is open to finding love which is code for make me The Bachelorette.  Chris makes a crack about overusing the phrase "most dramatic rose ceremony ever" before bringing AshLee on stage.  This is where you crack a beer and take a big sip any time AshLee mentions being abandoned.  AshLee was 100% in love and wasn't mad at being eliminated, just sort of speechless and hoped for answers.  She is not in love with Sean anymore, especially after seeing the show and seeing his behavior with the other girls. No solo time for Lesley M? Shaaaaame!

Because what's a Women Tell All without the idea of kinda confronting but not really confronting the lead at all?  Sean is brought onstage to the cheers of many a horny housewife audience members.  AshLee's question is "What happened? I don't get it." and Sean says she was the early frontrunner but he didn't feel like she could be his best friend because there wasn't laughter with her.  I think we viewers all understand that.  AshLee is pissy that he didn't come check on her because he's a gentleman, but he explains he thought it would be worse as that's how he felt with Emily.  She also claims he told her in the fantasy suites that he didn't have feelings for the other girls (Sean denies this big time).  This then drags on for another five minutes in a behind-the-scenes moment where they thought cameras were off.  Sean insists he didn't say this and does his gentlemanly apology for this, then they all chuckle about Des' insane brother.  Just saying, for someone who has moved on, AshLee's pretty whiny.  The show wraps up with their usual blooper reel, Sean saying he had a wonderful group of women he was blessed to meet, and accepts the well wishes for next week's finale.

Next week: Sean picks his future wife.