May 12, 2013

Reality Rundown: Bestie Betrayal

Finale! The Amazing RaceSurvivor: Caramoan

Finale! The Amazing Race - The teams take a train, then boat, to Northern Island to drive yet another Ford product placement car. The first clue is Roadblock is to bog snorkel through some murky, nasty water in under four minutes. The wetsuit and googles only block so much mud from getting all up in their biz. The teams drive back to Belfast for their Detour which is to serve a five course meal based on the Titanic menu or create graffiti art at a skateboard park. The Titanic dinner was weird to me, with the haunting violins and even getting some old dude who looked like the captain there. Creepfest. Everyone blunders at the dinner over the course menu (the seating chart has two courses, the other three come from a bigger board) and not knowing the color of chartreuse. Roller derby moms Mona/Beth really struggle, even after Bates/Anthony tip them off. Way behind because they had a hard time at the bog, the country singers do the graffiti task.

Max/Katie and Bates/Anthony check in at the same time, getting them a spot in the finale. Max/Katie also win a trip to the Dominican Republic with butler service- fancy! Mona and Beth check in as team number three, rounding out the final three. The country singers are eliminated from the race and will probably never look at a snorkel the same way again.

The final leg begins with a bit of mystery of where the actual final destination is.  To learn the answer, they must travel by ferry to Liverpool and grab a pint at a bar.  Cheers-ing their delicious pints, the clue reveals the final leg of the race will happen in Washington, DC.  Since the airline counters are closed until 5:15AM, all the teams are on even footing.

Lincoln Memorial is the location of the first clue, specifically the exact spot where Martin Luther King delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech.  From there they head to 1100 Pennsylvania Avenue to get a picture with the president, but the derby moms tell their cab driver the White House which is 1600.  The teams are pumped to meet the president... except duh, it's a greenscreen. Max is relieved he doesn't have to meet the democratic president in person because that's just horrendous.

After the bit of photo magic, teams head to the Tidal Basin to knock ominously on a marked car to receive a briefcase with their next clue.  It's a Switchback Roadblock to be a "spy master" by asking a bunch of paid extras being spies the secret password until they find someone who has the clue.  It's like Where's Waldo IRL except they're all dressed like Men in Black.  The spy gives them a locked briefcase which uses a combination based off their finish positions at various pit stops on the race.  Inside the briefcase is, of course, another clue that sends them to Nationals Park to catch balls being dropped by their teammate who is high-wired and flying above.  So cool, especially adding in the humiliation factor of wearing lame mascot costumes.

There's one last challenge before the finish line, which is the memory challenge with a bit of a twist.  There's a big bin full of globes with countries outlined. One teammate has to wade through the giant ball pit to find globes with the countries they visited on the race, while the other teammate puts them in order.  Bates and Anthony have a considerable lead over the other two teams but have a hard time finding Indonesia. It doesn't matter at all because they finish way before the other teams even arrive at the challenge.  The finish line is at George Washington's Mount Vernon and it's Bates and Anthony the hockey players who win the race and the million dollar prize.  Katie and Max arrive second, Mona and Beth third.  So I guess it's better than the Stanley Cup? IDK.

Survivor: Caramoan - With the numbers dwindling and the game getting competitive, a likely next target to take out is Cochran.  He's won challenges, a good gamer, and a nice guy AKA a shoo-in to win.  Erik is just bored to death, hungry, and miserable, comparing the experience to prison.  Then tries to shimmy up a high tree to reach the coconuts that taunt him from afar.  He's beaten down and could really use some motivation.  Hey editing, what might cheer Erik up??

A Sprint product placement phone shows up in tree mail with videos from home.  After a teaser the survivors get the in-person experience as their loved ones show up on the island.  Following the usual routine after a reunion of hugs, tears, and gawking at the skeletal frames of the contestants, the survivors compete in a reward challenge with their loved one to get time together offshore at a backyard barbeque.  The challenge is to unscrew rails, ala dizzy bat, and toss bolos onto the rails.  Burgers, beer, and apple pie on the line? Get your crap together, guys.  Brenda and her dad Raymond win reward and choose to bring Dawn and her husband along.  Twist alert!  Their second loved ones are all on the island too, which makes Sherri lose her shit crying on the ground.  Probst gives Brenda an awful choice to either bring another person with her/Dawn OR give up her/Dawn's loved ones so the other four can get family time.  It's audible sobs thanks to this asshole twist.  Brenda gives up her time/Dawn's time so the other four can chill with their family.  Anything for the prize I guess.

A boat brings Cochran, Sherri, Erik, and Eddie to their floating barbeque party.  There's crying and grilling, some just like your normal family function.  Cochran's dad works the grill while the others shovel food in their faces in the most repulsive ways.  Beats sucking peanut butter off each other's fingers.  Meanwhile, Dawn and Brenda can see the festivities from camp and Dawn cries a bunch more.  Brenda will get all the credit, but Dawn lost something too and won't get any votes for her sacrifice since she had no choice.  Plus she's hungry.  Brenda tries to lift her spirits but knows she definitely pissed Dawn off in the process of making good with the others.  Cochran tells us his mom whispered to him that Brenda's choice was a game-winning move and knows that it may be time to move in and take out the likable ones from the game (just like they're thinking about him).

Dawn wins immunity this week in an endurance challenge to lean over the water, gradually being lowered until they drop.  Her and Brenda really compete because Brenda doesn't want to give up which they'll say is a pride thing but should be a sign that Brenda ain't here to trust anyone and wants to win.  The assumption is tonight's vote will be simple elimination of Eddie.  Buuuuut there's stronger players.  Cochran would prefer to see Brenda gone as it's a better move for himself, Sherri, and even Dawn.  Cochran's concern is Brenda is a good competitor and could go on a sweep of the rest of the challenges.  Dawn is definitely torn about how to vote, concerned with taking out Brenda before Eddie (what if Eddie wins the final challenge? LOL RITE). Dawn wants to play her own game and not get swayed... what'll she do?

Tribal time!  Dawn is so happy she won immunity, calling it a Bucket List item.  Brenda's glad Dawn won it, Eddie knows his fate is possibly sealed by losing again.  Brenda says sending home her loved one was hard and easy at the same time.  Everyone says that Brenda making this move makes her a lovable saint.  Probst says this season hasn't been predictable which I'd agree with because this alliance refused to ever take a full stance and relied on split votes every single week until now.  1 vote Erik, 2 votes Eddie... but 3 votes Brenda.  "I was honest with you guys. I was genuine with you guys." Brenda says before getting her torch snuffed.  You're damned if you do, damned if you don't with stupid prizes.

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