July 21, 2013

Big Brother 15: This House is Falling to Pizzas

7/21/2013 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
Big Brother 15 - Week 3

A third week of Big Brother begins with a new disclaimer about their houseguests having opinions that CBS does not condone.  Covering Your Butt 101.

There's a division in the house after the Nick blindside.  GinaMarie takes it really well by sobbing in the bathroom like her dog was run over, then yelling at everyone and running her mouth.  The house really is falling "ta pizzas," as GinaMarie would poorly say.  The crying and crying to the point of annoying everyone.  The quote the great Latrice Royale, "Good god get a grip gurl."  The vote was 7-4 and that's because Spencer also flipped to vote out Nick after getting a tip from Helen.  Howard chose to still vote out Elissa to throw a hinky vote into the mix.  But Howard's anonymous vote is pretty easy to pin down.  Howard tries to throw the Have Not competition to ruin GinaMarie and Aaryn's week, but McCrae sucks so bad. The mean girls get to eat all week but at least temporarily stink of spoiled milk- a smell to reflect their nasty 'tudes.

Mean girls Aaryn and Kaitlin gang up on Jessie for switching sides, throwing in digs about her being the show slut since she's dying for a showmance.  Proving her childish, spoiled attitude, Aaryn gets out of the bed she stole (it's Candice's bed) and flips the mattress up against the wall.  As Jessie fights with Jeremy and Kaitlin to keep her own bed (they're insisting on having this larger bed), Candice is perturbed about her messed up bed.  "Whatcu gonn' do guuuuurl?" Aaryn says.  Candice gets into it with Aaryn and GinaMarie, who stops sobbing for ten minutes to get into a fight and say, "What you want the black to come out?"  Howard immediately carries Candice out of the room because she's better than this petty fight, begging her to control herself and not give in.  Candice doesn't want to hide away and just take the racial remarks being thrown at her, as she cries in Howard's arms.  Howard says they're not running, but they're playing a smart game.  Oh Howard, you are a saint in this house of turds.

The argument doesn't stop there.  GinaMarie thinks Jessie voted out Nick because he rejected her romantic advances and came into her bed (shudder).  Amanda is eavesdropping outside the door and busts in to start the ruckus.  The mean girls say Amanda talks shit about Jessie and she willingly admits she has and also has told Jessie these things to her face.  Amanda reminds them everyone is talking shit 24/7 so just say it to their faces.  Amanda then tells Aaryn that she is being portrayed as racist on the show and Aaryn doesn't believe it, saying she hasn't said anything racist (roll the footage, Big Brother!)  Meanwhile, Candice is crying in the HOH bathroom because Aaryn has really passed the point of no return with her.  Helen gives her a pep talk and assures her everyone is routing for her, not the jerks.  Proof that Candice is the better person: she consoles GinaMarie in her heartbreak eventhough that jerk was screaming in her face.  Aaryn apologizes for her remarks coming off racist as it wasn't intended (Candice accepts, extends an apology back, but doesn't accept it deep down).

McCrae comes clean to her sweetie Amanda about the Moving Company and she's actually impressed he was able to hide it so well. Jeremy knows he's screwed this week so he tries to make a deal with Helen, also outing the Moving Company in the process.  Despite the honesty, Helen sees his ease of outing everyone as a reason to not trust him.  Helen figures out it was Howard to cast the mystery vote and feels that by him lying, she can't fully trust him again, so he caves and admits he lied and voted for Elissa.  Helen cries (shocker) and asks him about the Moving Company, to which he denies.  Helen's not pleased with being lied to yet again, while Howard thinks it's a lie to help rebuild trust.  Helen lets Howard off the hook for now and instead nominates Aaryn and Kaitlin for eviction.

Helen has bigger plans for this week than taking out one of the mean girls and she believes she'll be able to sway obvious MVP Elissa to help with her plans.  Helen's plan: have the MVP nominate Spencer, then backdoor Jeremy.  Next step: put on the waterworks to guilt Spencer and Howard.  Amanda and McCrae would prefer nominating Howard because he voted out Elissa but also he stands a better chance of winning the veto.  Elissa refuses because she doesn't want a target from a strong player.  "Anonymous" MVP Elissa chooses Spencer as the week's third nominee.  And then Helen immediately blabs to Spencer the plan to backdoor Jeremy, but he doesn't care.

Jeremy doesn't get picked to play in the veto competition which means a true backdooring is coming (I bet he said the same thing to Kaitlin- hey-o!)   Kaitlin starts crying because she doesn't want her boyfriend gone, so she requests GinaMarie not use the veto should she win.  Amanda bluntly tells Kaitlin that if that veto isn't used, she's going home no question.  The veto competition is a memory challenge to bounce on a trampoline to glimpse a view of an art collection, then re-create that collection on their own wall.  The fun part is all the art is famous paintings with the houseguests photoshopped into them.  So if you've ever dreamt of George Washington being a misogynist, McCrae as Napoleon, or Andy and surfer David playing poker with dogs, well here's your challenge.  Kaitlin wins the veto and now must make her Sophie's Choice of saving herself in the game or her lamewad boyfriend.  Deals are attempted but Helen isn't stupid and nominates Jeremy as Kaitlin's replacement.

Jeremy takes his nomination in stride and decides to be nice to get votes.  Dressed as a baby, Jeremy campaigns for votes while causing us to cringe.  Back in normal clothes, he turns to the women with the most power in the house (Helen and Elissa) to plead his case and promise the world to them like everyone does when you're a target.  When will the HOH learn that a person will tell you anything you want to hear just to appease you?  Never? OK.  Aaryn is pissy because she thinks awesome, attractive, cool people are discriminated against but knows she's been a jerk so she decides to crank up her nice level.  Apologies abound for Aaryn.  No one seems to care about these shitheads because they're too busy laughing at GinaMarie's unhealthy obsession with Nick.  The house jokingly hides the weird items of Nick's she's hoarding, which leads GinaMarie to frantic tears.

The eviction show's family interviews cover this summer's unexpected showmance, Amanda and McCrae.  Their parents all kind of enjoy it I guess, though Amanda's parents wish he wasn't a broke ass pizza guy.  Sadly no update from the boyfriend Amanda left behind and dumped on live feeds tonguing another dude.

The three nominees get to make their final pleas, which gives Spencer the chance to thank Dave Grohl and Jeremy one last opportunity to remind everyone he's a champion at all times (including popping).  With a delightful nine out of ten votes, Jeremy is obviousy evicted from the Big Brother house.  In his interview with the Chenbot, Jeremy re-uses "coming in with my guns hot" again and says maybe he was arrogant.  But it seems Kaitlin softened ol' Jeremy and changed him.  But he still thinks he's a winner eventhough you know, he lost.  The worst part, if I can be selfish, is I almost picked Jeremy as my winner prediction but I couldn't support him since he was douchey.  Had I picked him, I would've keep alive the week three curse.  Damn.

The Chenbot announces the latest twist because giving Elissa MVP every week was getting stale.  America is the MVP this week and we get to choose the third nominee.  So as everyone wastes their time and money picking Aaryn, I'll put my vote elsewhere and not wasted on the most obvious nominee ever.  The HOH competition this week is an America Votes where there are "royal titles" and the houseguests have to choose from the two names given.  For instance Aaryn is declared "The Earl of Egotism" and GinaMarie "The Baron of Boneheads."  It's blasphemous that Elissa wins hottest over Howard.  In a tiebreaker, Judd wins Head of Household and this is exciting.  Before signing off for the week, Julie teases the house to expect the unexpected especially when it comes to the MVP.  But I believe this sums up Julie's closing remarks:

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