August 25, 2013

Big Brother 15: The Sadness of a Yoga Mat-less World

8/25/2013 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
Big Brother 15 - Week 8

Andy is sad he had to evict Jessie, but he needed to keep his hands semi-clean.  Amanda mopes about losing yet another time, even after McCrae did try to throw it to her.  She goes as far as to hide in the storage room, crying behind the trash, because she's a poor spot, big mouth baby.  Elissa is down in the dumps too, knowing she's likely to be nominated by Aaryn.  Helen does her strategy, which is kissing major ass and saying Aaryn is better than Big Brother legend, Janelle.  As the internet is always saying, STFU HELEN!  Aaryn actually loves Helen, planning to nominate Spencer and Elissa.  McCrae and Amanda (mostly Amanda) want Helen gone, so they say to lie that Elissa is the target and say they're nominated together so Helen doesn't have to vote out her friend.  Aw what a considerate way to backstab a friend.

Aaryn's HOH room is running out of fresh stuff, decorated with photos of her and goats, and a bitter, jealous Amanda seething.  After throwing on her best sourpuss face to see Aaryn's HOH room, Elissa is implored by Helen to talk to Aaryn and fight.  Showing her true colors of piss poor sportsmanship, Elissa says if she's evicted she'll refuse to go to the jury.  Helen feels betrayed by her friend that she's protected since day one when we could've been rid of Elissa's moping.  It's basically the only true Helen moment we've had as she's so upset she breaks down in front of the house.  The rest of the house is sympathetic to sobbing Helen, but also pretty pissed Elissa is sticking around when people who wanted to be here went home.  McCrae just thinks it's funny Helen assumed she was definitely going to final two, which is pretty great.  Oh Helen, sometimes you need to STFU.

The house divides into two teams (green/orange) for the Have Not competition.  The backyard isn't decorated at all and instead just a big black box of darkness.  In pure darkness, members of the team need to find a lucite key hidden in this fun house of shit.  The walls are covered in actuators that shoot stuff at them, like goop, slime, feathers, air shots.   There's vats of cherry pie filling, spaghetti, and oatmeal for Halloween laughs.  The key is in the food vats, which Spencer/orange team find far faster than GinaMarie/green team.  So GinaMarie, Amanda, Helen and Elissa are Have Nots.  Let's get this out there: I liked this competition a lot. It was basic as hell, but different from the recycled stuff we're always seeing.

Knowing that this could be her swan song week, Helen gets some airtime talking about her family and language barriers.  Then laughs because GinaMarie is dense in understanding it.  Elissa puts her tail between her legs and tries talking to Aaryn.  It leads into some odd complaining about a lack of yoga mats.  Aaryn tells Elissa she's not the target; Helen tries talking to Aaryn into not nominating her, swearing to not use the veto if she weren't nominated.  Aaryn feels a strong bond to Helen, but she's a major threat so Helen is nominated along with Elissa for eviction.

Post-nomination, Helen feels confident Elissa is the target but in the worst case, Helen's "alliance" with McCrae and Andy will save her.  Helen also requests Elissa be on her best behavior AKA actually be a real social person so they can save themselves and evict Spencer instead.  Andy continues to majorly lie to Helen, one about her true allegiance and the other about her being the target.  Andy's about to be sc-reeeeewed!

OTEV the sobbing, broken hearted beaver runs this week's Veto competition.  He wrote love letters to the departed houseguests and I won't lie, he warmed my heart.  His goofy voice. I love it. I can't help it.  This year, OTEV will begin reading his love letter and the houseguests have to search through mud, wood chips, and cold water for the houseguest's letter (last to bring back the letter is eliminated).  Elissa is an athletic beast, leading to Andy getting beamed in the head by a fake log.  She wins the veto and now the pawn is safe. Bad news for Helen but she doesn't seem to get that, cheering away.

Elissa and Helen celebrate, knowing that Spencer will go on the block and they might be safe (LOLZ).  Helen is starting to get suspicious of Andy since he sucked so badly in the veto and is a horribly guilty liar.  Amanda flat out tells Elissa that Helen is going home, hoping to sway/force her to her side.  Elissa wants to tell Helen everything but fears the wrath of Amanda, so she drops subtle hints.  Helen makes her plea to Aaryn to make a foursome (with Elissa and GinaMarie) to take out McRae and Amanda, who are running everything.  Helen annoys the crap out of me, but she's not wrong.  Amanda is steamrolling her way to a victory and everyone is just handing it to her.  Amanda and Aaryn get into a shouting match about that stupid wine incident from like five weeks ago.  It leads to Aaryn crying in the HOH room that Amanda controlled all of her HOHs.  Anyways, who cares, Spencer is the replacement nominee. Amanda still controls all even when Aaryn had the power to do whatever she wanted.

Helen is extremely nervous about her place is the house, beginning to cry for votes especially he supposed friend Andy.  And so right away Andy tattles to Amanda and begs her not to say anything.  Helen claims she can read people so she heads to eternally dazed McCrae to plead her case, asking him to stand up to his woman.  Oh Helen, you can read nothing.  Amanda doesn't appreciate Helen calling her a bossy bully who runs the house.  Elissa and Helen confront Andy about turning on them and that he'll become a target now with this move.  But it doesn't matter at all because everything Amanda is, Helen is too. She's a threat and the house evicts her with a teary goodbye.  Guess maybe being hellbent on evicting Judd and Howard over Amanda wasn't the wisest choice.  But Helen rejoices upon learning she has a chance to re-enter the game.

After a jury house recap of who everyone hates, Candice, Judd, Jessie and Helen arrive on stage in their athletic gear and Julie Chen surprises the houseguests with news of the twist.  The four enter the house to monkey jump and hug in excitement while the people who lasted in this game feign joy that someone is back.  Only Elissa is happy because she has no friends. 

Here's how the competition goes down.  All the current houseguests and the jury members compete in the same endurance competition "Off the Wall."  The HGs/jurors have to catch ten balls without falling off their moving balance beam on the wall, all while sprinklers splash them in the face.  The first juror to catch ten returns to the game, the first houseguest to ten wins HOH.  Should a juror catch ten first before a current houseguest, they're back and HOH.  Stakes are high but it seems there's a possible consensus amongst the jurors competing: take out Amanda.

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