May 5, 2014

Survivor Cagayan: Survivor Auction Time You Cheapo Deepos

5/05/2014 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
Survivor: Cagayan
Week 10
Spencer tells everyone how he found the idol the day Woo stole the clue.  Kass is like whatever, dude I know you had it because you've been nice and usually you're a turd.

Everyone gets wallets of straight caaaaaash mayn, because it's my favorite time of the season: SURVIVOR AUCTION!  While many dream of hamburgers and treats, Tony knows an advantage is there to be bought and the enemy (Spencer, Tasha) can't have it.  All survivors start rollin' with $500 (five hundy) and can't share.  Trish is so excited to bid and gets herself popcorn, candy, and a soft drink - and a mystery reveal of rice and water.  She can't fathom why Tony and Woo aren't betting, because she clearly doesn't understand that the game is better than delicious food (unless Golden Oreos are on the line). "YA CHEAPO DEEPOS!"  Jefra gets quesadillas and guac, Kass a steak sandwich with iced tea, and Woo gets to indulge in delicious ribs while porn music plays.  The whole auction is made worth it by Woo's surprise auction victory face.  Trish doesn't understand why Tony and Woo aren't betting because she's dumb and thinking about food.  Tasha is dumb and saves her money for an advantage, but doesn't bid when her time comes, hoping another will come afterwards.  Spencer and Tony both ante their full five hundy to draw rocks to win that clue, and Tony wins.  The auction immediately ends and Tasha's have a "sheeeeeeeeeit" moment of regret.  I'm just bummed that the auction is too obvious and therefore not fun to see people lose their minds over food.

Spencer thinks he's the worst auction person in history but I give him credit for trying, even if he is a loser.  Tony's alliance is so grateful he sacrificed his hunger for the team, but he's pretty bitter they are all lazy eaters who don't help at camp.  Since everyone is lying around recapping their snacks, Tony heads into the woods to read his advantage.  Unlike past auctions, this clue isn't for the challenge: it's for another immunity idol.  Tony comes back and notices that Tasha has been in the water with the women for awhile.  Tony's worried there's a women's alliance forming, and Spencer fuels the fire by mentioning Jefra wanted to vote him out before.  The continued laziness of the ladies only motivates Tony to continue his idol hunt and ta-da: another damn idol.  He shows his alliance the idol to show they can be trusted and protected.  I can't help but slow clap Tony, even when he annoys me, for ALWAYS playing the game.

This week's Immunity Challenge is to dig up bags from the sand, then use the balls in the bags to complete a table maze.  If you played a drinking game every week when the word "balls" in said on Survivor, I'd pray for your liver.  Tasha takes the early lead on the table maze, while Woo begins to catch up to her.  It's oh so close, but Tasha wins immunity yet again.  Bye bye Spencer?

Now that she's safe, Tasha wants to play up her faux-alliance to make Tony paranoid that the women are bonding.  The plan is to vote off Spencer, but fearing a foursome of women, Tony wants to vote out Jefra to keep the numbers on his side.  Paranoia is Tony's downfall, but Spencer and Tasha are the benefactors.  You can never trust Tony though, so Spencer decides to try and hunt for the special idol to cover himself.  Tony gets paranoid again because maybe Spencer should go because he's actually playing the game.  Tony needed to spend his $500 on a Xanax at the auction.

Tribal Council time! Spencer admits he's definitely in trouble tonight, given that he played his idol last night.  Tony right away brings up that Spencer told him the others wanted to blindside him, specifically Jefra.  Tony throws on his latest immunity idol to show his dominance and try to make his alliance bow down to him.  Jefra, who does nothing most of the time, thinks it's just the bottom feeders making a last ditch effort to stick around. Spencer makes his plea that the others could make a move to advance them further in the game, as opposed to fourth or fifth place.  The votes are cast and it's Jefra, not the obvious choice of Spencer, that goes home.  The internet cheers because they're all obsessed with Spencer, but it's dumb: the dude is great at challenges and has most of the jury on his side.  But hey, that's the fun of Survivor I guess.