May 26, 2014

Survivor Cagayan: Tony Wins Survivor Cagayan

5/26/2014 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
Survivor: Cagayan

After a seven minute recap of the season (don't need it, I'm diehard), we get the episode started.  Throughout the episode, the finale breaks to the live audience for Probst to ask questions, etc. and I'm not recapping that because it's pointless. Onto the episode! Tony feels bad for voting out high tightest ally, but he needed to stay with the group.  His main strategy is pretending his idol guarantees him a spot in the final three.  The others are wary of Tony's bluff as they should be because everybody knows it's standard to idols to cease power at five.  And the obvious fact that Tony lies a lot.

Kass is still pissy about Trish because she needs something to be cranky about.  Well how about getting a little happy with a family visit?  A boat pulls up with the final four's loved ones, complete with picnic baskets.  Chaos Kass gets emotional, and gives her husband the lowdown on being hated by every single person. In the finals, she plans argue that she played like a man and it's a double standard that because she's tough she's called a bitch.  I'll give Kass credit for when she played, but she seemed to be a dick sometimes for the sake of starting trouble. Even tough guy Tony's sad because he was hoping to see his wife but sounds like she decided to stay home with their baby, so he gets his bestie instead.  The happiness is great but lemme see what's in dem baskets (peanut butter and stuff - low budget if you ask me). 

The loved ones stick around for the Immunity Challenge because everyone loves a picnic and a show.  The challenge is to stand perched upon a pole, dropping a bucket into the ocean to pull up water to raise up a key.  Shocker: the key unlocks puzzle pieces which have to be assembled to win.  The poles are really high, shaking around from the castaways and the wind.  Tony retrieves his key first and climbs down as we learn Tony can't swim.  Spencer and Woo follow shortly after, both leaping from the top.  Kass seems to be a total mess and I would've counted her out, but she's pretty ballin' at puzzles and catches up to frontrunner Spencer.  Kass has krazy komeback and wins her first individual immunity.

Kass looks forward to booting Spencer and completing her dream of going to the end (and beating) Tony and Woo. Spencer realizes his time is probably up after losing to "a brain-dead weasel" but plans to fight. He pulls Tony aside and uses his superfan skills to put his Brains to work: it's a final two.  His pitch is to get rid of Woo, as Woo and Kass would take each other as their final two.  Poor Woo is confused by the prospect of a tie-breaker in final four, with him and Spencer battling. It's a struggle to see him think so hard.  Bless his double-bunned little head.

Tribal Council #1 of the night!  The jury could give two shits that Kass won immunity, though they look irritated to know the final four got to see loved ones and not them.  Tony thinks the family visit was bittersweet, while Spencer says it made him soft and more neurotic.  Then Spencer puts it alllll on the table to try to sway Tony, claiming he'd take Tony to the end and feels Tony would win.  Woo says he has played, but more "inconspicuous."  Kass says if it's a bitter jury, Woo wins.  If they're not, Kass or Tony could win.  Kass admits openly that she could beat Woo, not Tony.  You can see the paranoid thoughts running through Tony's head right now.  Once the votes are cast, Tony asks Jeff to explain his idol and tells the whole schpiel about it and that it doesn't matter anymore.  In a 3-1 vote though, Spencer is eliminated.  The fans are probably weeping but it's a wise move: Spencer would be unbeatable in final two.

The trio celebrate finally getting Spencer out, but isn't as celebratory as past seasons since one more elimination will happen.  I am thrilled to have final two back as it makes the game more exciting and a person has the chance to choose their destiny.  Kass reminds Woo he needs to keep his shizz together and not take Tony to the end.  Even he's smart enough to figure out taking Tony to the end is the dumbest.  And in the final Immunity Challenge, it's an breathtakingly awesome maze consistenting of turnstiles.  It's like the amusement park queue of doom.  But god forbid they consider the maze a puzzle, so they added in a second puzzle of cogs.  The maze is so cool while running through it, but it's beyond spectacular when shown from overhead.  Woo narrowly defeats Kass, like by half a second, and he gets a guaranteed spot in the final two!

Tony and Kass both try to plead their case to Woo about why they should go to the end.  Tony tries to be subtle yet aggressive, saying there is reason to worry about Kass.  Plus he believes in loyalty and if Woo dumps him, he's violating the tae kwon do rules of loyalty.  And Kass made moves, which Woo didn't. Except Tony made mega moves.  Kass asks why Tony would say Kass could win when he's insisted anyone could beat Kass for weeks.  She points out that Woo is like Fabio and Tony played a game that's undeniable.  Woo's brain clearly hurts.  He'd love to sit next to his bro Tony, but Woo would lose.  Taking Kass means contradicting his whole gameplay of loyalty.  Loosen the double buns, my friend.

Tribal council #2 of the night!  Woo says it feels amazing to guarantee a spot in the end, but nervous.  When asked about Tony's last vote to take out Spencer, Woo believes it was strategy and loyalty.  Tony leaves it up to Woo to step up and hold up his end of the bargain about his game of loyalty.  Kass is bummed the fate of her game was less than a second away from making the final tribal.  Probst asks what the final pitches were, but Woo asks to change the subject: he doesn't want to hear it, he just wants to vote. Take control, Double Buns!  "I'll go get the vote!" Probst says and quickly pops offscreen.  Out comes the urn and Woo eliminates... KASS. Whoa.  I'm speechless. Snarkless! The easy win is now on the jury and the world is shaking their heads wondering if Woo just pulled a Colby 2.0.

Woo and Tony hug it out on the beach, and Tony is so appreciative. Because he's going to win a million bucks, that's why.  Woo thinks this is his power move, something the jury will respect instead of taking the easy way.  He wants to go against someone strong and win with honor, not with everyone slagging off Kass for hours.  In the morning, tree mail brings their delicious last meal fixins for a breakfast that neither know how to cook.  Always gaming, Tony finds a clue which ends up being a note for an extra surprise in the woods: a scale and mirror so they can see what emaciated skeletons they've become.  "I look good!" Woo shouts.  No one is disagreeing. But you aren't looking a million dollars richer, bro.

Tribal council #3 of the night - the one that matters! Tony's opening statement is that he's ready to answer truthfully because he played all on strategy, nothing personal.  Woo explains the five codes of conduct of tae kwon do, and he played living to the values he lives by and he's playing for his mom who survived a heart attack and transplant.  Sarah is the first juror who doesn't appreciate Tony breaking his promise, swearing on his badge.  Jefra says she's not bitter, but wants Tony to own it without BS'ing her.  Tony won't fully admit he's a villain because he believes he was being a good player.  Morgan does some dumb speech about being attractive and holding men in her back pocket, asking Tony how he did it without breasts.  Morgan respects Woo taking an actual competitor to the end and not the goat.  Jeremiah hates that Tony swore on his wife and kid, but says if it's fake kudos; but since he does have on and broke it, Jeremiah's not happy.  Tony isn't allowed to defend himself.  Tasha asks Tony to articulate how he kept everyone loyal to him despite backstabbing them constantly.  Tony can back it up easily since he always told his alliance what he was doing, but regrets what he did to Trish. 

Woo is asked why he aligned closely with Tony and he reminds us how he was totally on the outs until the tribe shuffle and showed his value.  LJ wants to know who Tony is and I guess if this is really him? It's not articulated well. Tony tells LJ that he found a way to make it seem like LJ would break a promise so he could take out a main threat.  Kass wonders why, when given power, wouldn't take out the biggest threat and guarantee himself a win.  Woo wants the million dollars but also thinks Tony deserved to sit in the end next to him, not her.  Woo admits to Trish it was his idea to blindside her because she was a bigger threat. Trish gets emotional about her bond with Tony, the only person who trusted him, and he voted her off.  Trish wants to know if it was worth sacrificing his father's memory for the million dollars. He says yes.  Spencer compares Woo's game to a dog, following Tony and obeying every order.  Woo wanted to take someone who deserved to go, because he didn't want to take the standard path of taking the goat.  Wrapping it up is Spencer making a passionate plea to show Tony's amazing game and to vote for a person who truly played the game.

The jury has a lot to take in as they vote: Spencer's urge for them to vote based on game, the bitterness of being burned by Tony, the idea that they're OK with giving Woo a million dollars.  It's a tough decision for many, except Spencer obvs.  Jeff grabs the urn and then walks 10,000 miles to Los Angeles where he'll arrive just in time to read the winner.  Before he reads the votes, Jeff gives kudos to the players this season for coming to play, coming to win.  It's thanks to this season that we'll see newbies play again and not yet returnees coming back for the fourth time.  And the votes are read.  The winner of Survivor: Cagayan is... TONY!

A well-deserved win by an outstanding player (though I was reeeeeally hoping to finally get a Survivor pre-show winner prediction right - so close!). Apparently while playing, Tony was a ball of neuroses never sleeping, constantly thinking or feeling guilty.  Trish and Tony are OK now despite her emotional breakdown at the final tribal.  It's good that Tony won since this reunion would've been the Tony hour regardless.  Bitter cop talk, etc.  And Tyler Perry is there because he's the dumb idiot who thought the secret idol was a good idea.  The most obvious answer is given: Woo would've hands down beat Trish in the end.  Woo maintains he took Tony to the end to challenge himself and if he lost, he lost to the best.  Tasha says if she got a second-chance, she'd play like she'd never play again and go all out.  Spencer appreciates all the love and realizes how he should've, and could've played better.  Jeff Probst apologizes to Spencer for saying he had 0% chance of winning before the game began.  Tyler Perry acknowledges his idol was a garbage idea and the world admits if Spencer found it, not Tony, then everyone would've loved it. There's quick one-offs to a bunch of people and it's not interesting.  Survivor 29 heads to Nicaragua and it's Blood vs. Water again, but this season with newbies.

Now for the part you've all been waiting for: the Mel Got Served Survivor Pre-Show Winner Prediction Champion! Well folks, this season there is no winner. You heard right. No one picked Tony - it's like a roulette wheel and we hit 00. BUST!  As a note, I was soclose again with my pick to win Woo coming in second and while I wanted the best player to win, selfishly I wish Woo picked the goat.  Well, there's more winner predictions for me to fail at coming soon!