July 31, 2014

Big Brother 16: Amber is Free, Ya Fruit Loop Dingus!

7/31/2014 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
Big Brother 16 - Week 5

Everyone is happy with Frankie as HOH (plus he'll get pictures of his grandpa), but terrified at the thought of what loose cannon Zach will do. The obvious nominee choices are Donny, Jocasta, and Victoria, the outsiders of the house and the same people who have been nominated the last fou weeks. But Zach's hellbent on getting Amber out this week because she is the only girl will the gall to come after the guys. One guy she surely wants gone is Caleb, who eats a pickle (which he hates) in order to score a date in the house with her - and it's as awkward as you'd expect the date to be. Zach's crazy brain has the idea that Christine should "take one for the team" and be nominated alongside with Amber to throw the Battle of the Block, but when Christine balks at the idea Zach is livid. Zach's on a crazy power trip, even making an attempt to sabotage Christine's side alliance with Nicole (who would be heartbroken if she discovered Christine was playing her). Zach should be less worried about Christine and more about his bros, as Derrick and Cody make a final two alliance called "The Hitmen." Or maybe he should worry that behind his back the entire alliance fears his unpredictable behavior.

Team America gets their assignment to force an argument to happen between two houseguests at either the nomination or veto ceremony. It's their hardest mission yet, but with Zach in power it's easy to create such a disaster by encouraging his awful antics. At the nomination ceremony, Frankie first nominates Jocasta and Victoria citing that he's getting no blood on his hands by nominating people he nominated before (but is still a shitty friend to Victoria). Zach nominates Nicole and Christine, then makes his crazy speech calling Christine an irrelevant floater just like BB14 Jenn City and that superfan Nicole didn't see it coming "ya fruit loop dingus." Nicole begins to laugh-cry, then just cry, while Christine is simply pissed despite Zach's apology. BUT, no argument happens so Team America doesn't get paid... yet.

It's a full-blown wedding in the backyard for the Battle of the Block, "Wedding Crashers," where the two pairs have to assemble a giant wedding cake and climb to the top. One person is dressed as a bride with a creepy wig, while the other person is dressed as a groom with a creepy wig. The creepy wig store rejoices at their product placement! Christine and Nicole are really strategic in assembling their cake, a beautifully tiered work of perfection. Jocasta and Victoria? Not so much. Actually not at all: it's an unbalanced, uneven mess as their cake falls while trying to climb. Christine and Nicole win the Battle of the Block and dethrone Zach, who gets a cake to the head after a launcher fail.

Victoria blames Jocasta for losing the Battle of the Block so Jocasta makes some great faces at that ding dong. Victoria's too busy trying to get attention, particularly from Hayden which makes Nicole jealous. Frankie is elated to still be HOH, Zach just wants to backdoor Amber, and Christine and Nicole are still irritated with Zach. Problem is everyone is starting to hate Zach and if he doesn't STFU, people will want him nominated instead of non-Detonators. Frankie still wants to get paaaaaid for Team America so he requests Zach to STFU until the Veto Ceremony where it's free reign to torture everyone. Speaking of torture, Amber can't seem to escape Caleb, who explains her blowing him off isn't bothering him over and over to every person in the house. Oh not bothering you at all, "King of the House" Caleb! And in sad news from the outside world, Derrick receives a letter from home saying his grandfather has passed, with the letter encouraging him to stay and play.

Frankie, Jocasta, Victoria, Donny, Hayden (Victoria's houseguest's choice pick since he asked her), and Christine play in this week's Power of Veto competition. The backyard is like Bonanza City from Kid Nation - a wild west town complete with fake snakes and hay bales. The competition is to gallop on a fake horse sixty times, run and place some bricks, and stack fifty bars of gold (which fall if you don't get back onto your horse fast enough). It's the typical kinda sexual challenge, but luckily no liquid shoots out randomly on them, though Hayden uses it as an opportunity to hit on Nicole. To avoid bricks falling, you're allowed to take slop which Jocasta cashes in on. Everyone's asses get real sore, but it's Hayden who wins the Golden Power of Veto. And the award for best thrust.

Right after the veto, all the bros agree with the plan to use the veto on Victoria and backdoor Amber. The problem is Caleb is obsessed with the girl-who-isn't-that-into-him, so the guys need to make Caleb accept nominating her. Zach goes to Caleb right away to relay Amber's disgust and her feelings that all this showmance stuff has been overblown. Caleb seeks out his buddy Frankie and would love for them to put Amber on the block to scare her, basically to make her think Caleb and the guys controls her life in the game. To quote Jessie Spano, what a chauvinist pig.

Team America convene before the veto meeting to get their mission complete. Frankie suggests they have Zach go crazy on Amber after Frankie puts her on the block as a backdoor nominee. Everyone is giddy with excitement to see Zach destroy Amber on television and I don't get why. I mean a house argument is fun but I feel like Amber is being targeted for no reason. At the veto ceremony, Hayden uses the veto on Victoria since he chose him to play on her behalf. Frankie puts Amber on the block, as we expected, but plays dumb about it. Zach then goes batty and explains how Caleb did so many things to save her, like going on the block and eatings pickles. Amber doesn't have anything to say - TEAM AMERICA FAILS!

Jocasta cries that she's still up for eviction, while Amber gets inducted into the "Zach yelling at you" club. Amber confronts Caleb about getting her put on the block and, after getting his bible attempt slammed down, explains it's because she's hanging out with the house - not the alliance. Eventually he apologizes, but outs that the whole alliance knew the plan to nominate Amber. Then Caleb cries to Frankie about the possibility of her going home because of him, so Frankie pretends to care. Amber is so tired of this Caleb nonsense ruining her game and vows to target him if she gets to stay - which Christine sees as a good point to keep Amber, who will leave the Detonators alone in favor of ol' Beastmode. Instead, Frankie relays this gossip to Caleb to officially crush his heart and snap. All while wearing a onesie and bunny slippers and it's not a punishment the show assigned him.

Team America gets a last-minute mission before eviction: they have to vote against the majority and publicly accuse two houseguests of being those hinky voters. Frankie and Derrick figure it'll be easy to blame Caleb and their skapegoat Zach, but Donny does not want to do this mission because accusing others is out-of-character for him. He doesn't want his game messed up for a dumb task. So when it comes time for the live vote, Team America fails the task and does not vote against the house's decision (apologizing to us as they cast their votes). Amber is unanimously voted out of the house and is saved from Caleb's creeping for the rest of the summer, though she's surprised to be gone. Amber's not going to pretend to be into a guy just to win money, so good for her! And then Caleb has a douchey goodbye video wearing a crown claiming he's the king and the slipper doesn't fit his queen anymore. Be free, Amber. Be free.

This week's Head of Household competition, "Getting Loopy" has the houseguests answering true/false questions about looped videos of past competitions and house moments that were broadcast on the memory wall. Everyone watches to memorize every detail to be able to answer whatever bizarre questions might come up. The houseguests really studied the loops so it ends up going to a tie-breaker question with five houseguests still in the running to be one of the two HOHs. Except we don't get to see it because it's a cliffhanger - damn you Chenbot!