August 18, 2014

Bachelor in Paradise: The Grinch Who Saved Paradise

8/18/2014 Posted by Mel Got Served No comments
Week 3

It's a very busy week in paradise for Marquel! New arrival Danielle from Juan Pablo's sets her sights on Marquel, taking him along for her date in Campeche. They take a plane ride (which apparently all the dates do this week), and chit chat in a pool where she confesses she was hoping he'd be there. The date is quickly ruined by a lightning nearly striking them dead. The pair arrive back at the house after their great date, and Marquel is asked on a second date right away by other new arrival Jackie, Danielle's friend from Sean's season, who has no idea he just came back from a date. Danielle is totally bummed he'd still consider other girls, and he's just living it up on his other date. Jackie and Marquel explore some Mayan ruins, taking funny pictures, talking, and genuinely having good chemistry together (kiss alert eventhough they're not usually a first date kissers - ooh scandalous!)

Elise is ready to stalk her prey for another soulmate and now it's Chris, who pops his knee before their date and walks around all limpy. But nothing will get in Chris's way of some hotel sexin' - nothing! And the whole house prays Elise won't sleep with Chris given his track record, but they all know she will. After some weird yapping about being "blessed," the two slip away to a suite with a private pool. They fool around in a pool before probably getting down and dirty in the suite. How's the knee feeling now Chris? Apparently shitty because the date ends at the hospital and Chris isn't supposed to stand up - which to me sounds like a big Bachelor in Paradise selling point. But nutty Elise is stoked to play nurse and take care of her man. Sarah gives some friend advice to overeager Elise, but Elise is so sure this is real.

Michelle decides she's over Marquel and super into Robert, planning a romantic campfire double date with Claire just to show that she's fully into him. Except Sarah is into Robert too and ends up sad and lone at the house, comparing herself to Michelle and getting mopey. Clare is having a sad time because it's the anniversary of her father's passing, but Zack is there to comfort her. And a spirit animal turtle. Graham is kinda bummed that his Paradise options are low since AshLee has staked her claim, and is already planning the future before they've even had a date. Well they finally get a damn date outside the compound. Graham just wants AshLee to chill, but it's hard for his Instagram stalker to simmer down. She decides to seduce Graham with terrible dancing in front of a mariachi band, which leads to a kiss.  Oh, and Marcus/Lacy continue their boring lovefest by practicing the Dirty Dancing lift in the tiny pool.

Chris B. moans all the way to the cocktail party as the guys carry him there because I guess making him a large tiki shrine for his entrance isn't something they considered. He's pretty miserable with pain, considering leaving Paradise to I guess chill in bed at home instead of bed in Mexico. Marquel and Robert are the only two guys not in legit couples, so they're hot commodities to hit on before the rose ceremony. Michelle and Sarah are both smitten with Robert who is nice and dreamy, but that's all I'm seeing but the options are limited in paradise. He doesn't want to hurt any feelings. Marquel also has two women to choose from, with both hoping he'll give them a rose. And an exploration of his suitcase because his neon print shirt this week is ridic.

Rose ceremony time and a storm's a brewin' - or at least fast winds that whip Chris Harrison's three piece tan suit around. They begin with three obvious roses: Graham to AshLee, Zack to Clare, Marcus to Lacy. Marquel and his bold neon print gives his rose to Jackie. Danielle is crushed. Robert and his red sad eyes make the choice "that's best for me" which at this moment is Sarah. Michelle cries. Chris calls up Elise, who is beaming, but does not give her the rose because he's quitting to rest his bum knee. Instead he asks Elise to leave Paradise with him and she's like "YES! Let's be together forever!" as the clown music plays. But Chris does give his rose to Michelle, who he believes deserves to be here to find true love - and she cries more. This is the most Grinch That Stole Christmas moment in Bachelor franchise history. Look at how big Chris's heart has grown!