September 25, 2014

Survivor San Juan Del Sur: It's Blood vs. Water with Newbies!

9/25/2014 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 1

It's Blood vs. Water again! The pairs get one night together in the wild to try and hone their survival skills before being split apart. Nothing better than 24 hours to learn to make a fire with flint. Wes and Keith become the distinguished pair who actually break the flint, which apparently is a difficult feat. But at least we get to see Probst totally ballin' in a helicopter like it's the best Bachelor date of his life.

The eighteen castaways meet up with Jeff Probst and after a quick grilling are split into two tribes: Coyopa (orange) and Hunahpu (a beautiful aqua blue). A Reward challenge begins right away where one tribe member will unravel themselves from a rope mess and toss rings. Jeremy volunteers to compete and learns his challenger will be his wife - spouse brawl! Jeremy wins the challenge, which brings his tribe fire and beans. His wife Val is sentenced to Exile Island because it's baaaaack! No shelter, no food, and no alliances for some crucial early bonding. And Jeremy is crushed he's sent her to this fate so early because it could ultimately kill her game to not be around the early. But TWIST again! Jeremy has to choose one person from his tribe to join her and picks Keith, who could make fire despite breaking the flint.

Val and Keith explore their desolate temporary home at Exile Island, finding urns for each to choose from. Each urn contains a note: Keith's note is blank, but Val's is a clue to an idol hidden back at her camp. She doesn't share this information and blows off Keith's questions. But they do have some conversations and Keith is happy to find out Jeremy is a fellow firefighter. Plus Jeremy owes Keith for kinda screwing him on day one too.

Jeremy feels bad for screwing over his wife and Keith, but also is quickly plays the game on Hunahpu beach, aligning with the women on his tribe. Jeremy seems to be the most-liked male on the tribe since Drew, who decides to build the shelter, comes off like the wannabe douchey leader to others. Over at Coyopa, Dale immediately notices the age gap between himself and his younger tribemates. But he proves himself useful by breaking his glasses to make fire (because vision's not that important), and snagging a fake idol to barter later (which is actually probably a real idol based on Val's Exile Island clue). John Rocker's desire to remain unknown is quickly foiled when Wes figures out his identity, but for now it's their little secret.

The first Immunity Challenge is to crawl under an obstacle before retrieving pieces that will help the tribes scale a big wall, finishing up with a puzzle (of course). It's a real effort in teamwork as they assist in getting each other up the wall with ropes, pegs, and then just each other. Hunahpu wins immunity and gets to hold the soulless, eyeless immunity idol (which is apparently based on an Aztec artifact, but it doesn't take away it's creepiness). This sends Coyopa back to camp to decide who needs to go first. The guys would like to get rid of Nadiya since they know her gameplay thanks to her Amazing Race experience. Val suggest an all girls alliance that targets Dale first, since he's weak at challenges (AKA the old man). Josh and his poisoned pain eyes wanted to be someone people came to, but it comes fast for him to be the swing vote to either side with the guys or girls. Though Nadiya's insistence that Josh being gay is one of the girls is beyond awful. Maybe I'd rather the guys prevail to get rid of her.

Tribal Council time! Coyopa has been getting along well so it's not about dumping someone everyone hates immediately. Nadiya encourages a positive attitude, suggesting turning lemons into margaritas, and is proud of her tribe and the total difference between The Amazing Race. Val mentions time to "find things" on Exile which doesn't go unnoticed. Dale reminds everyone that his fire helped feed and keep them going. Nadiya makes another comment that Josh being gay kind of makes him one of the girls, which visibly irritates him. The survivors cast their first votes and twinnie Nadiya and her torch are the first to be snuffed this season.

Big Brother 16: Derrick Obviously Wins Big Brother

9/25/2014 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 13

We have our final three and Derrick is sitting pretty. Victoria thinks she's Derrick's #1 because they allegedly talked day one (doubtful), but Derrick seems truest to Cody if only because the alliance had an official name. The trio celebrate with a final three breakfast where they're forced to rehash a season of memories for a clipshow episode. It's a boring episode but worth it just to see when scrappy, adorable Izzy the dog entered the house.

Part 1 of the final 3-part HOH competition is to hang onto a hang glider the longest, but they're not dangling they're angled with feet on a platform and pummeled by rain. Cody and Derrick previously agreed that Cody would take the endurance, then Derrick would move into part two to battle Victoria. But Derrick would rather win part one than risk it, but eventually steps down and agrees to battle the brains of Victoria. Part 2 of the HOH comp has an adorable squirrel in a Pharaoh hat and the entire yard is beautifully themed in an Egyptian temple. Derrick and Victoria compete individually to climb a wall and put the houseguests heads into slots to indicate when they were nominated. And Pharaoh Squirrel gets a tile too - awww! While Victoria should really know who was nominated each week since she was up NINE TIMES, Derrick wins part two.

Ultimate Big Brother king and frozen foreheaded god Dr. Will mediates the jury as they hash out who deserves to win. When Beast Mode Cowboy arrives and explains The Hitmen, everyone is more focused on Caleb betraying Frankie than Derrick/Cody being a super pair. The jury all laughs about how brilliant Derrick's game is where he makes you feel guilty about your own eviction, also working the future evicted to work the jury for him. Donny advocates that Cody is a good player who won competitions, and everyone agrees Cody deserves the win too. But Victoria talk is just lots of laughs. Zach wisely speaks up that it's not about who you want to win but who DESERVES to win.

Derrick and Cody face off in the live final HOH competition, which is to guess how members of the jury responded to questions. They reused the scale of justice set from last year, because I guess this is a thing now. It ends in a tie breaker question in which Cody becomes the final HOH of the season. Keeping his word, the deal he made since day two, Cody evicts Victoria and brings Derrick with him to the final two.

With the final two in place, the jury comes out on stage and gets to question the final two. Derrick admits he played the role of being behind-the-scenes but totally involved in all decisions and insists his family wasn't to be used as strategy. Derrick answers that he went 55 nomination ceremonies without being nominated and Nicole is the person who understood the game he was playing. But Derrick does have to admit he always planned to take Cody to the end and brought her along as long as he could, but their friendship is real. Cody brags to Frankie that it was him that got him evicted and cites the big strategic move he did was saving Zach early on. Cody believes his social game is what got him and Derrick to the end, as he relayed that info to Derrick to make the decisions. In their final speeches, Cody insists he wasn't a puppet and made moves, while Derrick stresses he was never nominated, won competitions, and was integral in all the nominations. And then the jury cast their votes.

All the pre-jury houseguests come out on stage and Julie reveals the Team America twist. Derrick also gets to make a big reveal: he's actually a police officer. Even his casting video shows how slick his game has been planned before he even entered the house. And then it's time to reveal the votes! Jocasta and Donny vote for Cody, but the rest vote for Derrick. Derrick is the winner of Big Brother 16! And Donny wins America's Favorite Houseguest, edging out Zach and Nicole, to take home another $25,000. So it's a good day to get super paid for being part of Team America.

Ok, Mel Got Served readers, now we reveal who are the winners of this season's Pre-Show Winner Predictions. This season had the most voters ever and I'm so grateful to all who entered and tried to pick. While I beat my week three curse, my man Zach wasn't able to pull it out. However, seven of you smarties picked Derrick to win! Below are your trophies - congratulations on your victory!

September 17, 2014

Big Brother 16: Go Grande or Go Home (or to the Jury)

9/17/2014 Posted by Mel Got Served , 2 comments
Week 12

The Big Brother rewind creates a week of deja vu, as we begin the episode sitting through a second playing of that dumb see-saw shovel competition. The goal of everyone playing is to win that HOH and target Frankie, not lame duck Victoria. The "changes" from week-to-week is that the rain is much harder than before so yeah, nice try to make it seem like something has changed. It's still boring to watch. I definitely assumed Frankie would win this competition again, but it's Beast Mode See-Saw Boy who takes the win. A quick bro hug in the bedroom celebrates their victory, while keeping it very secret from Frankie that this will be his downfall.

The houseguests get sent up to the HOH room with a wonderful breakfast spread and the promise of a luxury competition. Instead they are shown a TV screen where they see the jury members re-entering the house and creating total chaos. The jury is the one playing in this competition, not the houseguests, and they have to trash the house to find "Knock Out" pucks to eliminate their fellow jury members for a chance at $5k. The houseguests have a chance to win $5k by betting on which juror they think will win  (Frankie-Zach, Derrick-Donny, Victoria-Hayden, Cody-Nicole, Caleb-Jocasta,No one ever-Christine). I am cracking at the houseguests screaming at the TV for their juror. Nicole knocks pretty much everyone out but it's Hayden who finds the final puck, knocks out Nicole (though almost eliminates himself for her - aw showmantical), and wins $5,000 for him and Victoria. Though Hayden's not super psyched Victoria got the money and the house is livid that they have to clean up the mess, including trash actually dumped on the floor (thanks Jocasta).

In game play stuff, Frankie wants Caleb to keep the nominations the same as last week: Cody and Victoria. Caleb is slightly concerned that nominating Frankie outright will motivate him to win the veto and make shit go down. Caleb thinks Derrick should finally be the pawn in the weekly grand scheme, but we know Derrick will make shit work his way. Into the restroom Derrick, Cody, and Caleb go to try and convince Caleb to keep them safe and keep up their final three deal. Frankie hustles to save himself with Caleb, hoping they could be a final two together, but it doesn't work. At the "daggum" nomination ceremony, Caleb nominates Victoria and Frankie for eviction and uses props from the chess board because THEATRICS!

Team America's remaining members learn that if they win the game, they'll earn another $50,000. Chances are slim for target Frankie now, who learns from Caleb he was nominated partially because his allies don't trust him to not make a power move. But it'll all come down the the veto, a re-do of last week's terrifying houseguest mashup to make freak show workers. But hooray, new freaks to haunt out dreams! The studying totally pays off as Cody wins the veto and the nominations aren't going to change. Frankie is pretty crushed to go from best to worst thanks to the Rewind, going so far as a bitchy, cranky speech to try and get Derrick nominated since he hasn't been nominated before ("Crushed it" UGH). Frankie is voted out of the Big Brother house and exits by spraying glitter everywhere and screeching over Julie.

Turns out before he left, Frankie told the guys that he would "single-handedly pick the winner" of this game in the jury, not to mention his "millions" of followers. Give me a break Frankie. Ugh. Over it. MOVING ON. Derrick wins the "Foggy Memory" HOH competition of before/after trivia, so now he must nominate two people when there are only three options (Cody, Caleb, Victoria) and he's got deals with all. Derrick smooth talks his way to making sure he's cool with everyone to get to the final two, sweet talking Caleb and Victoria beforehand so they know they're nominated. And aww Derrick gets a HOLLAAAA from his daughter and wife. While Caleb and Victoria are nominated, the really power player this week is whoever holds the Power of Veto since they cast the sole vote to evict.

Said POV is a veto themed around CBS' new drama Stalker (eyeroll) where the houseguests need to match houseguests to corresponding clues. It makes a suspect board which is something I feel like I should make next year to have a weird Big Brother conspiracy board in my home. Derrick totally throws it so he doesn't have to take any additional responsibility this week. Victoria is useless, Caleb is stumped, and pretty much it's Cody playing alone. Cody wins the most powerful veto of the season and he'll determine who else is heading to the jury this week.

Caleb campaigns to Cody to make sure the deal for the final three stands, citing loyalty. Cody's only loyalty is to Derrick; Caleb was merely a pawn to get Frankie out. Caleb's final speech pleads to maintain the loyalty but it sway Cody, who admits that since day two he's been aligned with Derrick and this is to get rid of the person most likely to impede their dream. Cody evicts Caleb from the house. Rocking some denim-on-denim, Beast Mode Cowboy brings Julie a fabric rose, is kind of upset with Derrick (but gets it), doesn't regret evicting Frankie, and maybe his loyalty is what has him in the jury instead of the end. With a YOLO dropped, Caleb heads off to the jury.

September 15, 2014

Survivor: San Juan Del Sur Pre-Show Winner Prediction

I'm starting to get giddy with excitement because a new season of Survivor starts in a little over a week! Survivor: San Juan Del Sur AKA Blood vs Water 2 begins on Wednesday, September 24th (before the Big Brother 16 finale) and it's gonna be a marathon for me. But I can't wait! As I mentioned, San Juan Del Sur is a second Blood vs. Water season, but this time with all new players so it should be interesting to see all fresh meat fighting for the title of sole Survivor.

I'm sure you've eagerly been awaiting my pre-show winner prediction, despite my track record of zero victories. But damn I was close last time! Well I've read the bios, watched the videos, and even saw the TVGN preview special. I'm ready to make my prediction.


JEREMY will win Survivor: San Juan Del Sur

First off, I'm in love with Val and Jeremy. Since they're kind of local to me, I hope I can meet them and they live up to my expectations. I was totally torn between which of the two to pick as my winner prediction because they're fans of the game and legit trained for this show (They practiced holding ropes which angled! Worked on getting adjusted to a minimal diet!) I decided to choose Jeremy over Val because she's got a huge obstacle to overcome being a woman over 30 on a tribe mostly full of young people that tend to stick together. However, I'm hoping, dying, for Val to last. Other pair I enjoyed: Wes and his dad Keith, who seem like they'll be good characters (and hopefully players as I could see Wes lasting a very long time). Having the Amazing Race Twinnies on annoys me, but I'm holding out hope that at a merge situation a person accidentally tells the wrong twin their secrets. And notorious baseball a-hole John Rocker? Ugh. No thanks.

Ok guys, time for YOU to cast your vote for your pre-show winner prediction! Who do you think will be San Juan Del Sur's Sole Survivor? VOTE BELOW - voting closes right when the east coast premiere begins!

September 10, 2014

Big Brother 16: The Week That Didn't Matter Thanks to the Rewind

9/10/2014 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 11

The backyard HOH competition is to cross a giant shovel teeter totter kind of thing to "plant seeds" AKA drop balls on the other side. At least there's adorable plastic cows out there. Eventually water rains down on them because the show hasn't used up their budget to splooge on houseguests. Knowing that last week the guys pondered backdooring him, Frankie steps up yet again and wins the competition.

As the house gasps in shock as they hear the BOOs from the crowd hating on Christine, the memory wall changes into a giant display of the gold Rewind button. The house has no idea what it is, considering that it could be good or bad but many want to push it. For the time being it's covered like an ancient artifact in a museum. But after the HOH competition, the button is freed and on the loose, ready to get pushed and make this entire week essentially pointless. After a group deliberation, the button is pushed and launches a taunting countdown instead of giving them any real answers. Fear sets in. Frankie decides to nominate Cody and Victoria for eviction.

The doorbell rings and in walks BB alums Jeff and Jordan, the Big Brother love story of the century according to a bunch of people. Slow clap to Jeff for calling them a house of smelly pigs because that place is a shithole. Jordan thinks they're at the house to host a luxury competition, but it's all a ruse. The backyard it turned into a beautiful garden oasis for him to FINALLY pop the question after five years, proposing exactly where their relationship began. "Is this a joke?" she keeps asking, shocked that Jeff is finally making it official. Her dog is brought in, their family... and some random country singer for a private concert like a damn episode of The Bachelor! The houseguests get to join in too, carrying in the cake and sipping champagne while watching a JeJo best of slideshow. And Frankie clutches Jordan's dog, bawling, harder than any member of the family.

Victoria is the target this week, unless she wins the veto. Victoria has this delusional level of confidence of what kind of Big Brother player she's been, but we're all laughing at how terrible she is at this game. Like she thinks she's Batman and Derrick is Robin. Uh, no gurl. Cody wants to feel comfortable, but an odd talk from Caleb starts him worrying about his place in the final four and where Caleb's loyalties are. But together they can all band together to come up with ridiculous ideas of what pressing the button will do. And karate chop it.

The backyard is turned into a bizarre carnival atmosphere for a Freak Show, where the houseguests need to figure out which three mashed up houseguests are featured in the freak show acts. What we learned is that three houseguests should never mate and join a carnival sideshow act. Because they're busted. Frankie wins the veto because OF COURSE. Dude is a legit competition beast and everyone is regretting not getting him out last week when they had the chance. But hey, why get rid of Frankie when you can have Team America missions like convincing the house to stay awake because there's a rodent? Frankie acknowledges he is a neon, sparkling target and chooses not to use the veto and nominations stay the same but it doesn't matter since the Rewind will make this entire week pointless.

Victoria remains the target because everyone wants to keep her around for an easy win, which means others could be eliminated before her. But Derrick continues to mastermind everything to make sure all four other houseguests would want to keep Derrick around to the final two. However Derrick is worried that Victoria being 100% Team Derrick on the jury will hurt his chances of getting taken along, so he encourages her to fake turn on him so the others will think she's anti-Derrick. Yet another move to shows how much Derrick deserves to win.

For time filler, we see how the jury house lives. Zach receives a new pink hat for his birthday. The jurors all hate Christine so are excited she's in the jury house, but not excited enough to want to talk to her. And Donny cheers when she says she got the biggest boo ever. Former BB winner Dan Gheesling gives his commentary about the season. He expects Frankie is the most vulnerable from the Rewind and Derrick is an amazing player.

The houseguests prepare to cast their votes to evict, but an alarm sounds, and the button has kicked in. The Chenbot informs them that the button set off the Big Brother Rewind and this whole week was pointless, as we know, and will be replayed. It's the same competition with the see-saw shovel, Derrick can't play since he's outgoing HOH, and Cody will have to put on the dinosaur suit again. It's so lame to have to sit through the same boring competitions again.

September 8, 2014

Bachelor in Paradise: Love Lost (and Found) in Paradise

9/08/2014 Posted by Mel Got Served No comments
Week 6 - FINALE!
Chris Harrison arrives at the house to drop some more twists and blow ya minds. He wants everyone to take a "hard, honest look at your relationship" and see how it'll pan out when they aren't living in a Mexican resort sipping tropical drinks all day. If they don't think it'll work in real life, they've gotta pack up and peace out. Time for some awkward couple convos!

While Michelle has her relationship with Cody on her mind, she's mostly concerned with her best friend Graham and that wackadoo AshLee. AshLee thinks Michelle is her friend and on her side, but it's the opposite as Michelle tells Graham she thinks AshLee isn't genuine and not right for him. And AshLee keeps rambling about everything being wonderful, blah blah. Graham finally talks to AshLee and tells her finally that this isn't going to continue on. A paradise fling. He feels bad but knows it's the right thing to do. AshLee cries a little and quickly peaces out. Graham leaves us with a final deep quote, "For me, paradise is lost."

Tasos and Christy both agree easily that they just met and aren't ready for anything at all. Jackie feels her timing with Zack isn't right and thinks they should probably leave as well. Marcus and Lacy are DUH together forever. Robert and Sarah have something good going on and plan to stay. But what about Michelle and Cody? Michelle is a single mom, so her daughter always crosses her mind and like how this beefy dude will fit into life - she even calls her daughter for advice. It's basically the wisest person to ever grace this show, saying it's not about being cute and he needs a good personality and be nice. Plus he's like ten steps ahead of Michelle in terms of feelings. But Michelle decides to stick around and move forward with Cody.

The "next step" is to have overnight dates together to have real conversations about life post-paradise and again, if it's not mean to be pack up your stuff and leave paradise. Marcus and Lacy of course have a wonderful date together and Lacy says she loves Marcus. And also "You complete me" because, ugh, gag. Robert and Sarah get a fantasy suite-esque room with a hot tub and she's excited for alone time away from cameras (cue the "Do Not Disturb" door tag being hung up). Michelle and Cody have a romantic dinner to talk about stuff, then smooch at little in the fantasy suite where supposedly they'll talk more. 

Everyone returns the next day basking in the afterglow of beautiful hotel room sexy times. Except Sarah, that is. Sure cheesecake was enjoyed, but the romance never happened for Sarah and Robert in the suite, instead Robert went to sleep early. In his jeans. And rejected any physical attempts by Sarah, who says the word "french kissing" way too much for an adult. Robert is shocked when Sarah doesn't believe they connected, so she has to remind him he barely touched her and went to sleep instead of spending all night talking and learning everything about each other. Sarah ends her relationship with Robert and seeks comfort from the other girls. And Robert cries while explaining he was enjoying taking it slow and doesn't rush "I love you." Another love saga of paradise ends.

The two happy couples that remain meet Chris Harrison, who then brings in past success stories of the franchise to give advice on how to have a relationship with television cameras. There's married with kids Jason and Molly, newlyweds Sean and Catherine, and engaged Des and Chris. In rapid-fire questions, both couples seem to actually know each other which is one positive step. The success story couples are all impressed with Michelle/Cody and Marcus/Lacy and believe they're definitely there for love. Well if THEY give the seal of approval. 

The experience ends with one final rose ceremony and professions of love. And I hate to admit, but I'm like really routing for Michelle and Cody? It's so bizarre. Marcus requests some alone time with Lacy before handing out the rose, walking her out to the beach instead and landing on the perfect proposal spot dock. Marcus gives her a big speech about finding true love with her. He drops down on one knee and gets out that Neil Lane ring and proposes. And it would be such a surprise if this wasn't posted as news MONTHS ago, before Bachelor in Paradise even aired. The alums cheer on the latest addition to the success stories of the franchise with a mixed track record. And yes she accepts the final rose and gives one right back. The show ends with a montage of all the failed relationships of kooks, wrapping with letting us know Michelle and Cody are very happy together in Utah and Marcus and Lacy live together in Dallas. Oh, and BLOOPERS!!!

And THAT my friends was Bachelor in Paradise. I'll be here snarking on more shows but good news is this show has been renewed for a second season! I hope the raccoon will be back.

September 5, 2014

Big Brother 16: It's the Perfect Time for a Predictable Double Eviction

9/05/2014 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 10

We pick up from the To Be Continued HOH competition of the houseguests sliding on "ice" to fill up a big ass plastic snowman head. Derrick is eying the lil' snowman that will award him $5,000 (and 5,000 Hollas) but sucks it up since his alliance needs the power. But once he realizes he stands no chance, he switches and gets that money. And then everyone continues to fall a bunch which you know happens because a slide whistle cues up for each slip and fall. Nicole is a dumbass and gives Christine a hint about grabbing slush instead of water. Girl never learns. It's very close but Caleb narrowly eeks out a victory from Christine, so YAWN. Predictable, boring week ahead. Again.

Everyone is physically drained from the competition, waddling around the house like constipated penguins. But they still have enough energy to talk game and hypothesize that Nicole is the house enemy, trying to woo Christine. The guys suspect Christine would align with Nicole, because how dare she have a friendly conversation with Nicole. Victoria would eliminate Christine over her laugh alone, which reminds me of Tickle Me Elmo. Nicole does try to campaign and offers herself up as a possible ally to Caleb, but he's hesitant because Nicole "helped" Christine in the comp. HOLLAAAAAA Derrick tries being nice to Nicole in case she stays because he's the only one playing hardcore to not alienate everyone. Unlike Frankie who is being a douche and even openly tells viewers Donny was a dud that brought down Team America. Cody tries to throw Frankie's name into the mix for nominations, but that doesn't pan out. Caleb nominates Nicole and Christine for eviction.

A Looney Tunes rip-off decorates the backyard with anvils and dynamite for Big Brother Blast, where players have to cut wires in correct order per a video. The fun part is that Cody, as the first explosion, is punished with a dinosaur costume all week. You know because dinosaur vaguely rhymes with dynamite. And when the wrong wires are the cut, they explode paint and crap all over the houseguests which is pretty cool. The bad news is Christine wins the veto, which means she will save herself from the block. But when Caleb spots Frankie and Christine whispering after her victory, he'd
not too pleased.

This throws off all plans to potentially save Nicole and send Christine out of the house this week. Derrick starts working hard to get Caleb to turn on Frankie, and it works pretty well since Caleb considers Frankie to be a replacement nominee over Victoria. It's pretty much the smartest Caleb's been all summer, reminding his allies that Frankie is one of the best at competitions. Dinosaur Cody, Caleb, and Christine would love to get Frankie out, but damn Derrick is non-committal since he's always playing to win. A late night Have Not Room talk with Nicole is what pushes Derrick to get everyone back on the target-Nicole-train after she compares him to Dan Gheesling, one slick ass mofo and a top Big Brother player. So sadly Frankie is not nominated and instead Nicole's newfound friend Victoria is named as the replacement nominee.

Nicole can't believe no one in this house has the balls to make any moves and lil' ol' her is the target. Caleb stupidly admits to Frankie that he considered backdooring him, throwing Cody under the bus as well. Derrick won't admit his involvement to Frankie, who ain't buying it. But it's all quick filler to set up what could happen in the double eviction. Nicole is evicted again after telling the house to play "Big Brother not Big Baby." But Nicole is off to maybe continue a showmance with Hayden and excited to see who gets canned with her in the double eviction.

The Double Eviction begins with a live Head of Household competition where the houseguests have to guess what the bleeped out word is in a sentence, but sadly it's not really inappropriate curse words. In literally one question, Derrick wins HOH and this is kind of awesome because he has to show his cards and allegiance. What a snooze however when Derrick tells Victoria she's getting nominated but she's not the target, so he of course nominates Victoria and Christine AKA obvious choices. The Power of Veto is a neat three-part puzzle, navigating a ball through a maze (Mazed and Confused, LOLZ). In the biggest groan moment Frankie wins the Power of Veto which means they can't switch their target to take him out. Frankie does change the nominations with the veto and the house comes together to eliminate Christine from the game. She is pissed and leaves without a goodbye AND gets booed hardcore by the audience. A new twist is introduced called "Rewind" and if the button is pushed it could undo the whole week and start all over.

September 1, 2014

Bachelor In Paradise: Another Week of Sexy Cave Dates

9/01/2014 Posted by Mel Got Served No comments
Week 5

Brooks from Desiree's season arrives and swoooooon! Sarah has a mega crush on him and wanted him in Paradise, except Robert has staked his claim with hyperbole so Brooks takes out Jackie instead. They have dinner, make puns, and play foosball as locals bet on them. This (along with her cuteness) is enough for Brooks to see Jackie is a girl he'd love to start a relationship with. Zach is into Jackie too, so he takes her out for another magical cave date with sexy night swimming and margaritas on a large mattress. Zach tells Jackie he was hoping she'd be there and really wanted to meet her, which makes her finally feel wanted and not just the default date girl for new arrivals. Seeing as Jackie breaks her first date kiss rule with Zach, I'd claim triangle but it's kind skewed.

Marcus and Lacy explore a cave where they encounter bats and Lacy's poor comprehension of the English language (don't ask her to pronounce stalactite). She does know the essential language of Paradise, telling Marcus she is indeed in love with him too. After her brief consideration of ending it all for a shot with Brooks, Sarah realizes the great thing she has going with Robert. He surprises her with a spotaneous date and wants to pursue things outside of paradise. Big things! Not ready for saying LOVE? Michelle, who freaks at Cody's easy use of "love" to describe their barely-there relationship. She decides not to dump him and instead request to "take it slow." I can't decide if Michelle just wants a snuggle buddy in Mexico or just will find any reason to stay in Mexico; I just can't fathom her and Cody as a couple. Also unfathomable, mostly due to editing, is how Graham and AshLee are still a couple? New guy Tasos takes Christy on a date where they relax in nature's lazy river ride and feed each other grapes on a dock - a major step up from Jesse the douche. And AshLee/Graham get no date and she whines about it.

Everyone is over Jesse the skeeze who is so not here for the right reasons. Even Christy knows he used her and has been bragging he did sexy time stuff with her and her eliminated friend Christy. Jesse wants to "squeeze every amount of Paradise that I can" which I am going to pretend is a euphemism, but also knows they'll all be besties after the show. Jesse isn't here to "date a dumb blonde" but still does his bullshitting to try and stick around. But when Christy starts to say it's over, Jesse puts the blame on her claiming she isn't open and he's going to leave on his own. It's such a low skeezy move, but not surprising because Jesse was just here for the open bar and to bang around and use these girls. Poor Christy - hopefully good things will happen with Tasos. But first, Christy tells Jesse off as he tries to make his escape and calls him a coward for trying to just quit instead of being dumped and left roseless. Lacy and Michelle join in so he knows that the women won't stand for his grossness, bragging to the guys and treating women so poorly. Bye Jesse. Go away.

The rose ceremony is fairly predictable since 90% of castmembers are paired up. The question of the night is who is victorious in the pursuit of Jackie. Zach gave her a bracelet to show he's into her, while Brooks uses his smooth words and an impromptu manicure to woo her. Jackie chooses Zach and Brooks is gone already. Maybe he'll be recruited by a nail salon to showcase his talent. BUT WAIT! This week was the last rose ceremony. No new arrivals. No date cards. Everything is about to change in paradise. SCANDAL!