September 10, 2014

Big Brother 16: The Week That Didn't Matter Thanks to the Rewind

9/10/2014 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 11

The backyard HOH competition is to cross a giant shovel teeter totter kind of thing to "plant seeds" AKA drop balls on the other side. At least there's adorable plastic cows out there. Eventually water rains down on them because the show hasn't used up their budget to splooge on houseguests. Knowing that last week the guys pondered backdooring him, Frankie steps up yet again and wins the competition.

As the house gasps in shock as they hear the BOOs from the crowd hating on Christine, the memory wall changes into a giant display of the gold Rewind button. The house has no idea what it is, considering that it could be good or bad but many want to push it. For the time being it's covered like an ancient artifact in a museum. But after the HOH competition, the button is freed and on the loose, ready to get pushed and make this entire week essentially pointless. After a group deliberation, the button is pushed and launches a taunting countdown instead of giving them any real answers. Fear sets in. Frankie decides to nominate Cody and Victoria for eviction.

The doorbell rings and in walks BB alums Jeff and Jordan, the Big Brother love story of the century according to a bunch of people. Slow clap to Jeff for calling them a house of smelly pigs because that place is a shithole. Jordan thinks they're at the house to host a luxury competition, but it's all a ruse. The backyard it turned into a beautiful garden oasis for him to FINALLY pop the question after five years, proposing exactly where their relationship began. "Is this a joke?" she keeps asking, shocked that Jeff is finally making it official. Her dog is brought in, their family... and some random country singer for a private concert like a damn episode of The Bachelor! The houseguests get to join in too, carrying in the cake and sipping champagne while watching a JeJo best of slideshow. And Frankie clutches Jordan's dog, bawling, harder than any member of the family.

Victoria is the target this week, unless she wins the veto. Victoria has this delusional level of confidence of what kind of Big Brother player she's been, but we're all laughing at how terrible she is at this game. Like she thinks she's Batman and Derrick is Robin. Uh, no gurl. Cody wants to feel comfortable, but an odd talk from Caleb starts him worrying about his place in the final four and where Caleb's loyalties are. But together they can all band together to come up with ridiculous ideas of what pressing the button will do. And karate chop it.

The backyard is turned into a bizarre carnival atmosphere for a Freak Show, where the houseguests need to figure out which three mashed up houseguests are featured in the freak show acts. What we learned is that three houseguests should never mate and join a carnival sideshow act. Because they're busted. Frankie wins the veto because OF COURSE. Dude is a legit competition beast and everyone is regretting not getting him out last week when they had the chance. But hey, why get rid of Frankie when you can have Team America missions like convincing the house to stay awake because there's a rodent? Frankie acknowledges he is a neon, sparkling target and chooses not to use the veto and nominations stay the same but it doesn't matter since the Rewind will make this entire week pointless.

Victoria remains the target because everyone wants to keep her around for an easy win, which means others could be eliminated before her. But Derrick continues to mastermind everything to make sure all four other houseguests would want to keep Derrick around to the final two. However Derrick is worried that Victoria being 100% Team Derrick on the jury will hurt his chances of getting taken along, so he encourages her to fake turn on him so the others will think she's anti-Derrick. Yet another move to shows how much Derrick deserves to win.

For time filler, we see how the jury house lives. Zach receives a new pink hat for his birthday. The jurors all hate Christine so are excited she's in the jury house, but not excited enough to want to talk to her. And Donny cheers when she says she got the biggest boo ever. Former BB winner Dan Gheesling gives his commentary about the season. He expects Frankie is the most vulnerable from the Rewind and Derrick is an amazing player.

The houseguests prepare to cast their votes to evict, but an alarm sounds, and the button has kicked in. The Chenbot informs them that the button set off the Big Brother Rewind and this whole week was pointless, as we know, and will be replayed. It's the same competition with the see-saw shovel, Derrick can't play since he's outgoing HOH, and Cody will have to put on the dinosaur suit again. It's so lame to have to sit through the same boring competitions again.