March 9, 2015

The Bachelor: Prince Farming Finds His Soulesmate

3/09/2015 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 10 - FINALE!

It's back to Arlington which is now covered in a thin layer of snow, the corn as dead as our enthusiasm for this season. Chris has no idea what he's going in terms of the two women, but he's got his family to help.

Whitney meets Chris' family first and knowing this is the farm, she comes well-prepared by wearing a flannel shirt. Whitney regales Chris' family with the tale of making a baby with fertility clinic sperm and every has a real guffaw. Whitney also lets the family know she's had a crush on Chris since Andi's season so she's 100% here for him and loves him, her voice getting shaky and shriekier by the second. Whitney is very comfortable moving to Arlington and starting a life while finding a new family to call her own. The family approves of Whitney and sees her fitting right in, especially because she's totally in love and her constant Chris adulation. As Chris explains his feelings for Whitney to his sisters, he makes a pretty good derp face. Chris has feelings for Whitney, but feels a real chemistry for Becca. His rambling speech about what he likes about Becca is defensive, so much that maybe his mind is already made up? Farm talk with the boys reveals that maybe part of Chris' attraction to Becca is the chase since she's like interested but not as forward as Whitney.

The Soules are real interested in meeting Becca, putting aside their Whitney-love to give Becca a fair chance. While Becca isn't all-in and hasn't confirmed she'd move to Iowa yet, Chris thinks the risk could be worth it. Becca chooses to wear a chambray shirt, a less overt farm look. Becca admits to the family that she did see Arlington during the impromptu road trip and was definitely shocked by "downtown." But her riff about an exciting Saturday in town being picking up the mail slays the fam. In the family grilling, Becca admits she still isn't fully in love but is getting there which worries her that maybe he'll turn her down because the relationship hasn't progressed fast enough. Becca will move to wherever love takes her, but only when she's totally sure. The family worries she might not be as into Chris as he is into her, especially her hesitance to no up and move to Iowa after 2 months of dating. The grilling by Chris' mom is so good that she starts to cry, probably because Chris' wise mother can read that Becca just doesn't understand why love feels like. Chris doesn't care what Becca says, only how he feels. How deep, Soules. Chris is hopeful Becca will say she loves him. Keep hoping, dude. "I think Whitney's the sure thing, but I think Becca's who Chris mans," Papa Soules says.

Chris leaves Arlington for Dubuque, Iowa for his final date with each girl. Becca's hotel room is the Al Capone suite because I guess he loved farmland too? Becca and Chris have one of their redundant talks about how she's falling in love but not there yet, so he asks her if she sees a future with him? Becca can't make any promises about when she'd be ready to haul ass and move, which leaves him in an awkward thinking face moment. Becca's lack of confirmation scares Chris because she doesn't know where she sees herself in five years because this isn't a job interview. Why does he ask this question so much? Becca can't articulate for Chris why she doesn't feel like she's in love with him, though her confusion about life in Arlington is part of it. Long paragraph short: Chris is super into Becca and she's on the fence. They repeat this over and over for 6 minutes.

For his final date with Whitney, the pair spend some time on the farm and pick some corn. YES! Harvest! Corn! Farm! Tractor! Whitney is so honored to be brought into such an important part of his life, so I guess she tuned out for the final three last year where Chris let Andi drive the tractor. Whitney gets the farmland tour and a visit to Chris' house, to which she's of course overly enthusiastic. They sip wine by a crackling fire and talk more, which is Whitney babbling more about how this experience was so worth it and she loves Chris. Back at the hotel, Chris sees that Whitney has a framed photo of them together from their wedding "crasher" date. Chris is hoping to have a moment that it all clicks and he knows Whitney is the one. Let's wrap this up really quick: nothing about Arlington shocked Whitney, she loved it, she loves Chris, life is grand. Whitney takes Chris aside one more time to wrap things on a high note since she's sure in their love, wanting all cards out on the table, but she's also scared. Chris says, "What you said, I reciprocate" and is excited about what they have. I love his "excitement" which on a scale of 1-10 is maybe a 2.5.

The day of reckoning has come! Chris soulfully ponders by a window both in sweater and shirtless. Thankfully he has a friend as good ol' Neil Lane comes all the way to Iowa to bring his usually box of halo engagement rings. With a ring in pocket, Chris heads to the proposal location: a decked out barn with stained glass, chandeliers, and candles. It's actually very pretty but everyone who uses Pinterest knows rustic barns are for shabby chic weddings, not proposals. So Chris waits eager for one, but doom looming for the other about to get dumped. Limo number one arrives...

And out steps Becca is a deep red velvet dress. Chris is like giddy smiling because he could see himself marrying Becca. Chris tells Becca how he's felt something for her since day one, that he sees a future with her and so much potential. It's the most he's spoken and the least studdery. "And you're not really ready," Chris says as he gets choked up. He wanted this to happen but she's not ready and Chris doesn't think he's the guy she'll need. Becca respects Chris' honesty and tells him he'll be an incredible husband. There's one last long whisper hug and it's over. Becca leaves mostly unaffected except for a few heavy sighs, which she picked up from two months of dating Chris. And Chris sighs loudly too because he's Chris and that's what he does. But Becca does admit she hopes that she wasn't in love the whole time but didn't even know it.

Wait, what about Whitney? She's rocking a long navy off-the-shoulder dress with some bedazzled cuffs. It's farm glamour, people. She's audibly shaking and shivering which is probably a mix of nerves and standing in a cold-ass winter barn. In case you're wondering, OF COURSE Whitney talks first and begins her usual rambling about how she loves Chris. Once she's done, Chris SIGHS LOUDLY. Then his speech begins about the first impression from the limo and the fun they've had throughout the process. "It feels so right, it feels so perfect... and that's what I want for the rest of my life. I love you." So Chris picked Whitney after this crazy edit of an episode. He gets down on one knee in the churchy barn straight out of The Muppet Movie where Doctor Teeth jammed out, and proposes. Lots of tears, kissing, hugging, and of course receiving the last rose. Together they sit looking out upon the farmland and bask in their love.

And into After the Final Rose we got! "There's tears flowing in the audience," Chris Harrison lies. Chris Soules is quickly brought out to clarify about the debacle of a finale we witnessed. A rollercoaster of emotions, mostly confusion since it seemed like the night could end with no proposal. But Chris and Whitney are ready to let their relationship be public. Regarding Becca, Chris saw some traits in Becca that he really wanted but she was also closed off and more of a chase. Chris Harrison wonders if Becca said I love you would that have changed things. "I don't know," Chris says, always eloquent. He's ready to move forward, not back!

Becca comes out for her first awkward interaction with Chris since the breakup. Becca explains that she had feelings, but wasn't ready for a proposal or something that big. It's just extra time to hear Chris' accident say "KAHSTANTLY." He respects her feelings and opinions, which led to "clarity" at the end. Becca loved things about Chris, but wasn't really sure if she was feeling love since she didn't have much experience to compare it to. Wisely and realistically, Becca wasn't going to claim to be in love just because this show wanted her to have those feelings. Becca feels changed and ready to find love. We're just relieved that Chris Harrison didn't use this as ten minutes to ask virginity questions.

Whitney comes out on stage and she starts kissing Chris a bunch, before gushing over how much she loves him. Even she jokes that she never STFU about her Chris love. Her self awareness charms me. Basically Chris wanted someone beautiful, funny, hard-working, and like his sisters - so Whitney is the one. Lots of happy, happy talk about their future together. Whitney didn't watch the show, or really only watched their dates together. She lived it and didn't need to watch him mackin' on everyone else for two months while they're trying to maintain the high of their love. She's confident in their relationship and isn't worried that he might have lingering feelings for anyone, because as a reminder Chris earlier said that everything was done. So this is Harrison beating it to death. Chris and Whitney have been very open about everything and are A-OK. What's super cute is that after the proposal, Chris' parents came to the barn to celebrate the big news (and request grandchildren immediately). And despite the rules of being discrete, Whitney has been sneaking off to Iowa to be with Chris and his family.

Other highlights of After the Final Rose include a visit from the season's real star, Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy takes 100% credit for their love, but if it fails he won't take the fall. In case you're wondering, they're "making love regularly." Best part of it all: Jimmy telling Chris that Becca wasn't into him. Cringey and hilarious! He gifts the couple with a cow which he named Juan Pablo. "EES OKAY!" Chris Harrison says as he pets the cow.

The other question of the night is who will be The Bachelorette? ALLEGEDLY it's been divided between Britt and Kaitlyn, which is a load of crap because everyone knows it should be Kaitlyn. Like the crowded loses their minds. And then, holy moly twist alert: there will be two Bachelorettes!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME I'M HAVING A MELTDOWN. One night one, the men will have quite a choice ahead of them. Now I think this is so awesome, however NOT original. As a longtime reality TV watcher, I recall them doing this on For Love or Money. Britt's all giggly and pleased, but Kaitlyn has on such a shade-throwing smirk because her moment of solo glory is over. Dear lord, please let the men of night one pick Kaitlyn. PLEASE.