Week 1 - Part 2
Part two of the premiere picks back up with the guys speculating who the majority have picked. Chris has already counted the votes in the rose coffins with the security guard, so he walks outside to find Britt. The votes have been tallied and Britt's not the Bachelorette (the fans rejoice). The show does one thing right in this dumb idea and that's letting Britt know the results in private instead of making it a show in front of the men. Britt is put into a limo, where she is pretty surprised she didn't get picked but also super let down because now she's met a few great guys and leaving them behind for Kaitlyn. It ends with a signature Britt ugly cry, but with far less glitter eyeshadow and mascara dripping down her cheeks.
Chris Harrison does a monotone psych-out on Kaitlyn, who is brought to tears with excitement while still being sympathetic to Britt. Kaitlyn is a true treasure, people. Kaitlyn gets a minute to privately celebrate, call her mom, and ponder which guys to immediately dump. Then Chris Harrison introduces the official Bachelorette to the group to cheers and a few golf claps (the guys who voted for Britt). Then begins the second round of one-on-one time with Kaitlyn. Ian is the most excited and gets her first, and Joshua gifts her with the rose her welded. The guys who voted for Britt were thrown for a loop, not sure what to do or how to proceed. Tony the weirdo healer mopes, while "Love Man" Jared confesses his vote and Kaitlyn appreciates his honesty. Kaitlyn now has to not only pick who she likes, but figure out which guys weren't initially interested in her. Single dad JJ admits he wasn't originally picking Kaitlyn, but his honesty and their discussion makes her really attracted to him. Cupcake Chris is the guy who goes in for the kiss first and she's impressed. But Ryan Gosling lookalike Shawn B. gets the first impression rose and a big kiss. Turns out that everyone isn't bummed Kaitlyn won out.
The rose ceremony begins with Kaitlyn so baffled that a rose ceremony is happening because I guess she doesn't understand how this show works despite being on and it making final three. Animosity grows as men who voted for Britt begin to get roses, which Kaitlyn-lovers remain on the sidelines. Most shocking is healer Tony, who was so mopey about losing Britt, accepting a rose. Not everyone is covering up who they were originally rooting for. Singer/songwriter Brady interrupts the rose ceremony to ask for time alone with Kaitlyn, where the honestly tells her that his heart is with Britt. He leaves the house and requests Chris Harrison take him to Britt, trying to win her heart the old fashioned way: off-camera.. The rose ceremony continues on, with the last rose going to "Love Man" Jared. Roseless and eliminated is Magic Josh the stripper, hot tub car Shawn E, some dude Bradley, and David. The remaining men toast to the voyage ahead. Think of all the potential helicopter rides!
Oh and about Brady and Britt. He surprises her at her hotel room and... to be continued.
Two wrap up my premiere recap, I feel like I need to give you more of my opinion since you're reading my blog and might wonder what I'm thinking. I find this whole situation just cringe-worthy and such an awkward experience to watch, kind of removing the fun and excitement of the first night of the show. You know I love a 2-on-1 date, which you could compare this situation to, except by that point the lead has gotten to know the women beyond first impressions. Here, it's a bunch of guys basically talking about which girl is hotter. The fact that some guys were baffled that they could change their vote based simply on having a conversation just showed everything wrong with this world. Wow, a girl could be more attractive besides face value - what a gamechanger! And while I don't want Britt to be the lead, I also don't want to see two women have to be pitted against each other and letting the men choose their fate. The fun of the spin-off was the power being in the woman's hands (but let's not get started on the whole end proposal nonsense). Either way, it's all gross. It's not what I wanted or fans, but it's what the show claims is interesting. I don't approve, but it'll be over in a few paragraphs. Hopefully the woman voted off finds love in a better way - or at least gets a guaranteed spot on Bachelor in Paradise. Off my soapbox, back onto the snark box. See you next week.