August 9, 2015

Bachelor In Paradise: Date Card Drama

8/09/2015 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 2 - Part 1

Lauren has a crappy attitude about this whole reality TV dating thing, which brings down her sister and the vibe around the resort. Well if Mikey didn't give Clare a rose we wouldn't be in this predicament since this forced Jared to give a rose to Ashley I, and therefore the sisters. Lauren plans to leave Paradise because there's a guy back home she's in love with, but they're not actually dating and she's "kind of a mistress" to a non-married guy, so I guess he's dating someone else and she's a sidepiece? Either way, not what a mistress is. Ashley is forced to tend to her sister while the rest of the cast gossips about this news. But she'd consider staying only if Joshua from Kaitlyn's season were to arrive. Joshua does arrive but doesn't take a liking to Lauren, so Lauren packs her suitcase and slowly drags it through the sand home. Ashley cries like a basketcase.

Another one of Kaitlyn's rejects arrives in the form of Joe and his tall hair, which is clearly not holding reading intellect since he care barely get through the date card. Given his reputation for being a funny guy, he instead brings a new level of quiet awkwardness to the group. Originally Clare thought maybe he was a prospect until he brings up that this is Clare's second go-round at Paradise and that's "terrible." Uh a free paid vacay? Not too shabby. Clare heads to the side to cry it out and thankfully the raccoon is back as a sounding board and the best friend she'll ever have, even if the raccoon is preoccupied with a wine bottle.

Joshua uses his first date card to take thirsty Tenley for a "night on the town." After a round of shots, Tenley and Joshua bond over their shared joy of theater, him being a theater major and her once being Ariel at Tokyo Disneyland. The pair are really hitting it off as they hit the clubs and kiss on the dance floor. Back at the resort, JJ doesn't feel threatened at all. In fact, JJ is insistent that he'll receive Tenley's rose. So when Tenley returns, JJ steals her away for another date which includes sloppy seconds. Then JJ passes out in bed and Tenley heads back into Josh's arms and they kiss a bunch more. But the Joshua love runs out quick after he shares stories with the group about taking Molly at clubs and hard partying blackouts. Mikey and Dan fill Tenley in on Josh's self-described antics and she realizes she almost wound up with a clunker again. Joshua denies to Tenley that he's a hard partier still, then comes clean that he did try Molly once and it's not his scene. Great cover. Make sure to check Joshua's coconut drinks for the duration of the show. I kid, I kid.

Joe like barely asks Juelia on his horseback riding date and she accepts, even if they've barely spoken. Everyone hopes Joe is there for the right reasons, because Juelia is since she's a single mom truly looking for love. Her previous fling, Jonathan, is disappointed their relationship might already be over and hopes the date will be a bust so he can stick around. Unfortunately, this is not the case as Joe and Juelia hit it off over mimosas by a waterfall and he's OK with the kid situation. Soon they're jumping into the water and kissing as the waterfall crashes behind them. And it's apparently Juelia's birthday too so it's like a total win for her. Too bad when they return from the date she's beaming and he's an emotionless robot with a human facade.

Everyone is nervous for Juelia because she's so genuine and deserves happiness because her life has been tough. Joe is the guy she wants to continue seeing, so she dumps Jonathan who now has no prospects left. Juelia's just raving to everyone about how great Joe is. Meanwhile, Joe is talking to a producer about his date with Juelia where he calls her dumb and said she was a bad kisser. But he did it all because he needed a rose for a chance that maybe some chick Samantha shows up.

Given the current coupling status, Dan finds out from the girls that the guy likely to be eliminated is Mikey. The guys thought Mikey and Clare had a connection, but it's just a friend thing. Mikey himself hasn't figured out the obvious fact that Clare isn't romantically into him in the slightest, even after she pretty much told him that on their yoga date. Clare is into Jared and his "juicy lips" and that's only mutual attraction is validated when Jared's date card arrives and he picks Clare. Ashley I. is seeeeeeething and, shocker, cries. Mikey is "blindsided" by Jared's choice because, again, he has no clue about Clare's obvious disdain for a romantic connection with him. So Clare has to say it straight again, that she is in Paradise to explore and talk to a lot of people. Clare doesn't appreciate Mikey being so rude just because she doesn't reciprocate feelings.  Drama is heeeeeeeeeeeere!

Find out what happened in part 2 - click to read the recap.