The latest cliffhanger beginning picks up with Shawn B. weirding Kaitlyn out in her hotel room. When Shawn asks if she's in love with him, she's taken aback and says she's in love with him. For a superfan of this show, he doesn't seem to comprehend the basic elements of the show's operation AKA you can't pick a guy in week 6. What Kaitlyn is most worried about is Shawn knowing she slept with Nick, feeling guilty that she does have feelings for Shawn but other guys as well. She's nervous at the possibility Shawn would leave. Polyamorous dating is a beotch.
But enough of this Shawn B. nonsense: it's 2-on-1 Thunderdome date time! The date is with Joe and JJ, two guys we don't care about in the slightest. The trio get on a little boat and sail to a little Irish island for a picnic with a bottle of Irish whiskey. Joe gets his alone time and does his best to try and open up emotionally to Kaitlyn and says he's falling in love with her. This openness is what she is looking for, but like she's not weirded out by a guy with zero time already dropping the semi-L bomb. JJ admits to Kaitlyn that three years ago he cheated on his wife and lost everything. She's pretty understanding and still ends their time together with a kiss. Kaitlyn dumps JJ on the date, but also doesn't give Joe the rose. Kaitlyn wants to spend more time with Joe first, so they head to a hotel fireplace and talk and kiss there. THEN he gets the rose.
After a lonely late-night bench pondering session, plus the sting of Joe getting a rose and saying he's falling in love with Kaitlyn, Shawn YET AGAIN goes to Kaitlyn's hotel room. Dude, follow the rules and chill out. An emotionally drained Kaitlyn is trying to get through her interviews and the producer is interrupted with a walkie talkie call that Shawn's coming, so she cries more. Girl needs a nap, a sandwich, and a "Do Not Distrurb" sign for her hotel door. Kaitlyn wonders why Sean is here AGAIN but worried about his headspace. Shawn is visiting again to explain that the reason this whole process is difficult is because in San Antonio, off-camera, Kaitlyn apparently told Shawn he was the one and she knew it. She's a little tired of the reassurance the has to give him when the other guys believe in her. Kaitlyn basically tells him to suck it up, deal with it, and this is the process he signed up for her. Suddenly Kaitlyn realized she made a huge mistake leading Shawn on so much because she's also vibing with other dudes.
It appears a Rose Ceremony might actually happen for once. But first, the cocktail party. Ben Z. is open and makes her all happy. Ben H. does not make her as happy, concerned that she's already made her choice for Shawn B. since he was happy as a clam in San Antonio when she visited them off-camera in their hotel room. Guess he hasn't seen Shawn moping for the entire time in Ireland. Kaitlyn comes face-to-face with Nick again and pretty much tells him don't blab about their sexin'. Nick doesn't like the lack of trust because he didn't bang and tell (well, this time around). Nick's in this for the real deal and shows Kaitlyn an emotional side. Shawn gets MORE one-on-one time and Kaitlyn apologizes for sneaking to his hotel room and giving him way to make reassurance. It's another time for Kaitlyn to explain that she's dating a bunch of dudes, will kiss a lot more, will meet families, so like... be cool. After a tedious amount of whiny guys, a Rose Ceremony actually happens and Tanner and Ben Z. get cut. Tanner doesn't surprise me because he's been a goner for weeks, but I saw Ben Z. being the guy who gets his heart crushed at hometowns. Blindside, yo!
Road trip! Kaitlyn chooses Jared to join her alone in her car while the other guys get a bus ride on the kelly green "Paddywagon" listening to Shawn B. snore. Kaitlyn and Jared take selfies and kiss all across Irelend, including the Blarney Stone. If any Bachelorette deserves this kissing honor, it's the Kissing Bandit herself. Now relaxing at her hotel room after a fun day with Jared, Chris Harrison knocks at the hotel room to bother her. But it's probably a relief to open a hotel room door and not see Shawn B. for once. Chris Harrison wants to get a progress report, but more importantly drops a major bomb: this week they'll go down to a final three. The final three will get Fantasy Suites and off-camera time. THEN Kaitlyn will meet the final two's family. So basically, time to drop some excess baggage.
And that baggage is Cupcake Chris. Kaitlyn takes him a helicopter ride over the countryside and they land on the top of a mountaintop cliff with an amazing view. The conversation is awkward with Kaitlyn being a little stand off-ish. It's what we call a warning sign and Cupcake tries his hardest to smooth it over. Soon she's sniffling up snot and tears because she doesn't want to lead Cupcake Chris on. Kaitlyn takes a helicopter and Cupcake Chris is left alone and heartbroken, sobbing into a scarf on a mountaintop.
But maybe he'll get to go to Paradise. I know someone else hoping for a shot: