August 16, 2016

Bachelor in Paradise: The Return of Ashley I's Ugly Cries

8/16/2016 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 3 - Night 2

Ashley I arrives in Paradise for another summer of chasing after Jared, but is shocked to discover her friend Caila has already snagged her man. Apparently, Caila didn't tell Ashley I she was coming to Paradise and has previously stated Jared isn't her type. Well things change, Ashley! What hasn't changed is Ashley's emotional stability, which quickly digresses into tears. With Jared taken, Ashley is forced to find another option for her date card and is stuck with Canadian Daniel. Ashley and Daniel talk about her virginity and Jared obsession before actually bonding. But their date is interrupted when a bunch of Mayans bust into the date and steal Ashley I away to "sacrifice a virgin." This is how the date ends. Also, she doesn't really die in a sacrifice.

Another one of Ben Higgins rejects arrives and her name is Jen and she's a brunette beauty that all the guys want. Jen gets a good vibe from two time runner-up Nick Viall and takes him on her date, and thank god because he was becoming a sad lonely man in Paradise. They drink on a boat before departing to makeout on a crab-infested beach. Not the STD, but the animals but since this is Bachelor in Paradise I can see why you'd think it's a crabs infested beach.

Evan's bizarre medical emergencies aren't quite over yet. He got a kiss from Carly after passing out last time, so on his second expedition he invites Carly to join his ambulance ride for his swollen ankles. And it works! Carly's feelings for Evan return and his thrifty non-date card date actually works out this time.

It's time for the latest Rose Ceremony and the men have the power this week. Pretty much the only rose up for grabs is Canadian Daniel and he's got a lot of choices. After Jared confirms Caila will get his rose, Ashley I pulls him aside because she still thinks there's a chance. When Nick Viall, two-time runner-up reject, tells you it won't work out... believe him. Jared is tired of Ashley I cock-blocking him, and Ashley I has most definitely broken her vow of only 3 cries in Paradise. I'm already tired of it.

[All images credited to ABC]