January 16, 2017

The Bachelor: Backstreet and Barf Bags

1/16/2017 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 3

Since the gossip is spreading around the house, Nick kicks off the pre-Rose Ceremony cocktail party by declaring he had sex with Liz at Jade and Tanner's wedding. Nick should've done an open forum for efficiency's sake, but instead chooses to answer each girl's questions 1-on-1. Because god forbid Corinne takes a break from being the center of attention, she wears only a trenchcoat to do a sexy, whipped cream fueled tease. Nick keeps it in his pants which sends Corinne into tears, because I guess she wanted to bang on a beanbag chair in the driveway? Corinne passes out up in her bedroom with her date rose by her side, missing the Rose Ceremony but honestly it's a relief to get even four minutes of the show without her. Nick hands out his roses and says goodbye to Hailey the Canadian and a few other blondes I don't even recognize.

You know how I love to rip on a concert date, but this week I can't. The first group date girls get to be backup dancers for the Backstreet Boys and I'm jealous only because they get to meet BSB. Not the dancing part, I'm a horrible dancer. Corinne is also a terrible dancer and being outshined by the other girls is a devastating blow to her confidence, sending her to the bathroom to cry. I see a pattern. Danielle L is deemed the dancer with the most chemistry with Nick so they get to slow dance and kiss in front of the 500 person crowd (and the others girls) while being serenaded with "I Want It That Way". Later that night, there's the usual post-date cocktail party where Corinne apologizes to Nick for skipping the Rose Ceremony. The girls are beyond tired of Corinne's antics and discovering she's a grown adult with a nanny doesn't help at all. The date rose goes to Danielle L, who Nick really connected with on and off the stage and by that I mean a lot of talking and making out.

Vanessa and Nick head up into the sky for a ride on a zero gravity plane which is the ideal place to fall (or float) in love and hold back vomit. After fun floating and kissing midair, reality sets in: Vanessa has to hurl. Vanessa takes care of business in a barf bag and Nick cradles the airsick beauty. Vomit mouth is apparently not a big deal for him and he kisses Vanessa more. Is he trying to make all the viewers puke too? Nick takes Vanessa up to the tallest building in LA for a romantic dinner which they won't eat, but will enjoy the wine. Vanessa shares that her grandfather passed right before coming on the show and received a red rose that day, which felt like a sign of support to go on the show. Nick talks about his past relationship failures on television and that he's starting to have feelings for Vanessa and is more optimistic about this whole experience in general. He even sheds a tear! Nick gives Vanessa the date rose and they kiss more, which I assumed they've brushed their teeth by this point.

The final group date girls get dressed in their Lululemon best for a track and field inspired "Nick-athalon" date complete with Olympians Allyson Felix, Michelle Carter, and Carl Lewis. There's a long jump compared to the length of a cardboard limo, the high jump into Nick's arms, and a javelin throw at the heart. In the final foot race for hot tub time with Nick, Rachel runs her ass off but totally knocks the victory ring off the platform and Astrid, wearer of the least supportive sports bra ever, wins that extra alone time to makeout with Nick. Meanwhile, Dominique is worried she's falling behind and not getting attention and since I didn't remember she was on the show, she's not wrong. After all the other girls get their time, Dominique finally gets to talk to Nick and vents that she doesn't feel she's getting a fair chance or enough attention. Nick admits their connection isn't very strong and he's bonded more with others, so he lets Dominique go. Nick returns and gives the date rose to Rachel.

Chris Harrison shows up to the house dressed super casual in purple plaid and dirty Adidas sneakers to announce there's no cocktail party... there's a pool party! The girls poorly apply sunscreen to Nick and get as much time as they can in before Corinne steals him away for fun (and straddling) in a bouncy princess castle. All the girls see this and yet again... they're not happy. It's that time of the season: time for the girls to spread the truth about Corinne. And when Vanessa begins to question their relationship and Nick's motives, it's a bad omen.

[All images credited to ABC]


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