January 9, 2017

The Bachelor: A Nice Day for a Topless Wedding

1/09/2017 Posted by Mel Got Served , 1 comment
Week 2

The group date girls giggly drive in convertibles to the first date of the season: a wedding themed photoshoot! Since most of these girls will make a living posing with products on Instagram, this is a great practice date. Some girls get the honor of dressing as a bride while others are subjected to the humiliation of being the permanent bridesmaid. The photoshoots follow the time honored classic: shotgun wedding, Adam and Eve wedding, and 80s wedding. It's each girl's time to get touchy and overly sexual with Nick to get his attention and win the special surprise at the end of the date. Cue Corinne who takes her top off as bikini bride to one-up the other girls. This appeals to the photographer who looks like The Village People meets Weekend at Bernies, who chooses her to win some extra alone time with Nick. At the night portion of the date, Corinne's domination of the date doesn't end, snagging alone time first and interrupting two different girls throughout the night to get more time with Nick. The girls are livid and this annoyance is only intensified when Nick rewards her atrocious behavior with the date rose.

Danielle M receives the first 1-on-1 date and she gets the ultimate experience: a helicopter date! The helicopter lands on a big ol' yacht complete with a hot tub, so basically this is so many Bachelor cliches in one and I love it. The yacht portion of the date is barely shown because it was probably extremely boring because Danielle M is a normal human being. So normal that she doesn't know much about Nick's past on this show so he gives her the recap (sans mentioning when he asked Andi, "Why did you make love to me?"). Danielle shares with Nick that she was once engaged but her fiance passed away five years ago from an overdose. They have a connection so Nick gives Danielle the date rose, which she accepts with a kiss. The night ends with a ride on a completely empty ferris wheel which is the ideal place to kiss high in the sky for TV effect.

The last group date of the heads over to the Museum of Broken Relationships and if anyone deserves a giant presidential portrait there, it's Nick Viall. Nick did contribute an artifact to the museum: a wilted rose and one of his many rejected engagement rings. After reviewing the relics of past love gone wrong, all the girls get a chance to poorly act out a break-up with Nick. The positive is, neither of these are at the dead last phrase of a reality show so it's probably less crappy than Andi and Kaitlyn. Lingering in the air of past broken relationships is Liz and Nick's one night stand many moons ago, which Liz reminds the viewers over and over about. Previously only Christen knew Liz's secret, but in the break-up acting exercise, Liz spills all the tea and apologizes for their failed relationship. Nick begins to panic that all the women know the truth, but they seem to think Liz has written an amazingly detailed work of fiction. Except Christen, who tells Nick she knows the truth and he's not pleased. Nick grabs Liz and begins the grand inquisition to suss out of Liz is here for the right reasons. Nick doesn't get why she didn't ask mutual friends for his number instead of joining the cast of a reality TV show. Liz's reason is she wanted to get to know him because getting barely ten minutes together on group dates is adequate as opposed to phone calls, texts, DMs, etc. Nick decides he left Liz behind months ago and wants to move forward, sending her home from the date.

Next obstacle: making all the women not hate him when they find out the truth that he banged Liz before.

[All images credited to ABC]


donof said...

Love your reviews. Have you mentioned the amount of vocal fry on The Bachelor this year?