February 27, 2017

The Bachelor: The Trouble with Turtlenecks

2/27/2017 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 9

Previously on The Bachelor, Nick's ex Andi knocked on his hotel room and greeted him with a "Hello, Nick" in her best home to greeting Newman on Seinfeld. Over whiskey, Nick and Andi chat like old friends that had sex on reality TV. An innocuous comment about Nick dumping 29 girls leads Nick to say possibly 30 because he's not just getting engaged because there's a last woman standing. SHOCKER. Nick thinks it'll all workout and I'm glad he thinks that cause I sure as hell don't. Andi then gives Nick some Fantasy Suite sex advice which is bone whomever he wants, but don't make love to someone if you're not in love with someone. Hey, that's Nick's corny phrase, not mine.

Meanwhile, the four women are freezing outside on a veranda waiting for Nick to show at the Rose Ceremony. Nick gives his roses to Raven, Rachel, and Vanessa which means it's the end of the journey for Corinne and her platinum vagine. Corinne cries into Nick's arms that maybe she did something wrong or regretful, but Nick assures her there's nothing to be sorry for. We know this won't be the last of Corinne who I'm sure will fast become Jorge the Bartender's best friend in Paradise. Maybe Raquel the Nanny will get an invite too. Basically, Corinne will get the red carpet treatment because she's entertainment gold.

The windy outdoor Rose Ceremony was prep work for the show's next destination: snowy Finland! It's got a lush winter landscape perfect for pondering relationships on hotel balconies while wearing a winter beanie.

Raven is Nick's first overnight date and they get hop in a helicopter to take in the breathtaking views, which they miss partially due to making out. Then they head to a pub to play darts, take shots, and talk family. Raven is nervous about the Fantasy Suite and what happens in there AKA sex. Raven's got lots of secrets to confess on this date: she's never said "I love you" to her ex and she proclaims her love for Nick. You can rank your favorites. For what it's worth, Raven's profession of love is actually sweet and how love should be easy and that's what she feels with Nick. Nick busts out the Fantasy Suite card and Raven accepts with one more secret: she's never had an orgasm before. Nick blushes and they head to the room to smooch.

And then we're FREE! Only a one hour episode! But next week 3. UGHHHHH.

[All images credited to ABC]