June 26, 2017

The Bachelorette: Matters Of The Heart and Handball

6/26/2017 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 5 - Night 1

Picking up where we left off, it's still the never-ending group date finally ends with Bryan making out with Rachel and getting the date rose. Lee and Kenny continue to go at it, and there's a lot of bleeping but I definitely know when you're bleeping the phrase "balls on chin." Later, Will explains to Lee that using the term "aggressive" against a black man may have offended Kenny. Lee doesn't "understand" the race card and boy are my eyes rolling.

After remaining in date-airing-date-limbo, Rachel has her 1-on-1 date with Jack Stone and if that's not the name of a thriller novel protagonist then I clearly need to write the new best seller. Rachel and Jack head to an oyster festival to shuck and suck down some tasty treats and dance. Jack is so into Rachel, overly so in a cringy way that you feel bad for him. Rachel is not feeling Jack and his alarmingly white teeth and that dude can't read the obvious signs that every single viewer can see. Rachel doesn't want to lead Jack on and explains while they have a lot in common, there's a missing energy and connection between them so she's not giving him the date rose.

Rachel forgoes the cocktail party which is a relief so we can get this show on the road. Lee and Kenny's rivalry lives on while Iggy and the Tickle Monster (giving Rachel one last squeeze) are eliminated. Sorry fellas, but you're missing out on a trip to NORWAY!

Bryan accompanies Rachel on the first Norwegian 1-on-1 date where they take in a scenic view high above at the Olympic ski jump... then rappelling down it (with some loud kissing midway). It's the classic Bachelor franchise metaphor date about letting go, trusting your partner, etc. Rachel is super smitten with Bryan and he feels justified in his overconfidence. Over dinner, Rachel opens up about her insecurities and Bryan talks about his past longterm relationship and reiterates his strong feelings for Rachel with an admission that he's falling in love with her. Of course Bryan receives the date rose and they makeout all over the place.

The group date card invites along all the guys except Kenny and Lee, who of course at paired in a 2-on-1 date - but more on that later. The guys put on their best unitards and play a rousing game of handball, which is a much more intense sport in Europe. The guys all try to showoff for Rachel and get noticed, though I'd say Dean's choice of jockstrap on the outside wins the night. Rachel uses the after party to get a better feel for her connections with the remaining men and it's a success as they all open up, some maybe too much (Josiah, who thinks Rachel is the girl of her dreams but doesn't ask about her). Will gets the group date rose, but I'd say Peter doesn't have to be worried considering he spent a reeeeeal long time making out with Rachel in a random group date hot tub.

Kenny and Lee's 2-on-1 Thunderdome date card arrives and each prepare differently: Kenny calls his daughter at home, Lee shines his cowboy boots and reads a book about Norway. A helicopter picks the men up and this date annoys me so much I'm not even excited for a Bachelorette helicopter date. The helicopter lands for the trio to awkwardly sit by the choppy water and pretend this is all normal. Kenny tells Rachel how amazing she is and hopes she'll see the real him, hoping to get away from the drama and back to her. Lee's time alone is immediately about Kenny all the names he called him, which Lee blames on alcohol. Rachel wants clarity but feels she isn't getting the full truth from either, so she pulls Kenny aside again and says Lee said he has a "dark side" and pulled him out of a van, to which Kenny can't believe the lies. But hey, guess we'll finish this off tomorrow since it's to be continued.

[All images credited to ABC]