February 26, 2018

The Bachelor: I Love Peru and You and You and You

2/26/2018 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 9, Night 2 - Overnight Dates

With the hometown dates in the past, Arie and the final three depart for Peru. Arie is extremely excited for the landscapes and, shocker, could see himself falling in love in Peru.

Kendall meets Arie in the sand dunes of Peru for dune buggying and sand surfing. Honestly, all I can think is what an ideal spot this would be to dump someone on a 2-on-1 date is leave them in the sandy land. Kendall and Arie have fun but she's still unsure about being ready for a proposal. At night they share red wine and actually eat at a glammed up Airbnb. Kendall is a quirky gal and doesn't want to be considered a novelty and Arie digs her - stuffed dead animals and all. Kendall opens up that she is falling in love with Arie and he says it right back. Out comes the old date card which is of course accepted for more talking, smooching, and implied bone zone on the shortest bed ever. Over eggs and coffee, both reiterate they are falling in love with each other and I do mean saying the word "love" not the broader "falling for you" stuff.

Arie whisks Lauren off in a teeny plan to check out the Nazca Lines and if you've basically wanted to see monkey crop circles, call your travel agent right now. Well officially they're called geoglyphs for booking purposes. Arie likes Lauren but also feels like she has a huge wall up and she needs to let loose. She's super stressed and hitting a tipping point, maybe even wanting to leave out of fear of rejection. After an extremely boring day date (which is a familiar theme for these two), they head for a romantic dinner. Arie tries to make Lauren feel better and assure her that he feels emotions with her he hasn't felt in a long time. Those feelings are summarized pretty matter-of-factly when Arie tells Lauren he loves her. This is the validation Lauren needed and she says I love you back and they use the crap out of that Fantasy Suite card over a really bad cover of "How Do I Live Without You". I would've gone for that Coyote Ugly song instead by that's just me.

The final overnight date is with Becca, where they sail the seas and do the ol' Titanic pose because it's maritime law to do that now. Arie asks how Becca does with long distance and she starts talking about her ex and we call this "foreshadowing" in the biz (I am not in the biz). Boats are cool, but dinner under a sand dune tent is a cooler venue. Arie confides in Becca he's afraid of rejection or choosing the wrong woman at the end of this. Becca finally tells Arie she loves him and he tells Becca he's in love with her too. For those of you keeping track, that's THREE "I love yous" to three different women. Ben Higgins, you're off the hook. Becca and Arie take the long trek to the other tent forty feet away to head to the sandy bone zone tiny house with no bathroom in sight. "She's literally perfect," Arie says, after gushing that he could end it all now and propose in the sand dunes.

CUE THE DRAMA. In comes Becca's ex-boyfriend of seven years who thankfully has coincidentally decided the time to profess his love for her is when she's on a reality TV show currently filming in Peru. He didn't know this show ended in a proposal and literally every person knows how this show works even if they don't watch. Arie gets a knock on the door and it's Ross the ex who says Becca is the love of his life and he wants to marry her. Arie is very calm despite raging on the inside. Despite totally coming on his own accord (suuuuuure Ross), he gets in a production van to go see Becca. She's not happy to see Ross and neither am I after this becomes twenty minutes of filler as Ross goes on and on about why he hoped this world all work. Becca gives a hard pass on reuniting with Ross but is concerned her relationship with Arie is in jeopardy. Becca heads right on over to Arie's to discuss all the drama and that seven years is a lot of history.

The show go on and it's time for a Rose Ceremony which should completely blindside one woman since he said "I love you" to each of them. Though the "I love you" over usage might not be as cruel as making women wear heels on cobblestone. With a random horse in the backyard, Arie begins the Rose Ceremony again by taking Kendall aside but this time to say goodbye. Unfortunately their connection lagged behind the other two. Arie gives his roses to Lauren and Becca and who the hell knows what is going to happen in next week's finale because this season is all over the place.

[All images credited to ABC]