March 5, 2018

The Bachelor: Arie's Bad at Choosing

3/05/2018 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments

Arie family meets him in Cusco, Peru to help give some guidance that will help him choose between the two women he loves. First up is Lauren who is nervous and dull as ever, but opens up to Arie's parents about their love, fear of losing Arie, and potentially having a second failed engagement. Arie finally expresses what every viewer has noticed: they have no real conversations. But hey, she's pretty! The next day, the pro-Lauren family barely give Becca the appropriate attention and spend most of the day asking about Lauren. They are so cold and it makes Becca feel like garbage. Afterwards, the family gives their feedback and despite treating her like trash they think Becca is the better choice for Arie. But he's still pretty confused.

On their final date, Arie and Lauren board a train en route to one of the Seven Wonders of the World: Machu Picchu. It's so awe-inspiring that both repeatedly say "This is insane" because they are both wordsmiths and also lacking oxygen. Lauren talks just enough this date that Arie is totally smitten again and they kiss all over the citadel and could you please be careful these are ancient relics. Arie comes over for one last date night with Lauren to sip champagne in cozy knits. Feelings are discussed, a typical day together (spoiler: drinking coffee and walking dogs), and giggling. Now Lauren is opening up and guess what Aries says about it?? "I LOVE THAT." After all this boredom we aren't even shown a craft project declaration of love, so what a waste for us. But Arie can't stop telling Lauren he loves her so much so looks like this date might have swayed his opinion yet again.

Arie's got an umbrella in hand to salvage his rainy date with Becca, ducking into a marketplace and acting touristy. But the sun comes out and they're able to pet alpacas and drink the world's largest smoothies so that's cool but it's no Seven Wonders of the World. But the whole date is totally lackluster and lacking in energy. And then it's date night and Becca is very concerned Arie could be in love with both of them and this might be over in a day. Arie admits he's a little conflicted and Becca reiterates she's confident in their relationship but Lauren is very different than her so it's an unknown entity. Arie knows her can talk to Becca all night love and guess what says about it? "I LOVE THAT." Becca blesses up with the craft project declaration of love and reads him a journal entry full of emotion about her father's passing and their love. Guess what Arie thinks about this photo album and journal? "I LOVE THAT." Suddenly things are better again and now Arie is ready to smooch Becca against a wall and maybe she could be his wife.

It's almost proposin' time! Arie sips his morning coffee (man, Lauren was onto something!) and heads out to an overlook to scenically ponder both of the women and the decision he has to make. Or not because if you're this torn it seems bizarre to propose. Neil Lane arrives with diamonds in tow and his shirt is more buttoned than usual - how modest! A ring is selected. The women get dressed to the nines and worry that maybe Arie said the same thing to both of them. A blue suit and matching tie are put on, and suddenly Arie is at the proposing mat.

Lauren is the first to arrive to the proposal mat wearing a beaded gown with lots of movement and she's so confident this is the beginning of their lives. Lauren gives her impassioned speech to Arie about this lifechanging love she has for him but he's got guilty face the entire time. He informs Lauren it's over and she's pretty confused and I'd say a loss for words buuuuuut.... Oh and even after dumping her he says "I love you" so it's all sorts of messed up. In the limo Lauren cries because she feels betrayed and blindsided, but also says if he was so unsure three hours ago then how/why is he proposing? Girl, we know.

Arie pops a peek at his chosen engagement ring while Becca's SUV arrives. Clad in a black lace gown, Becca makes the extremely long walk to the proposal mat to tell Arie how much she loves him while the high winds obstruct the microphones. Even in this moment he looks so uncomfortable as Becca speaks. But Arie gets happier once he gives his speech about how much he loves Becca, ending in a proposal on bended knee with that oval cut ring he loves so much. It's an exciting romantic moment as they kiss and Becca accepts the final rose.

It should be over but with 55 minutes left and infinite teasing by Chris Harrison we know this isn't ending well.

Video footage shows Arie and Becca enjoying their time as a happy couple after the show. It's still being filmed but they're making pizza, playing chess, having fun. However lingering in Arie's mind: how would Lauren like these fun things we do? Despite promising Becca he'd choose her every day, Arie is going back on his word and breaking off the engagement because he needs a chance with Lauren. Oh and he's going to have the cameras there to film the break-up. CLASS ACT.

Becca arrives to their latest meet-up super excited to see her fiance because no one on this show warned her. And of course they wouldn't, it's TV gold to watch this woman's heart be crushed. The show chooses to show two cameras unedited of Arie telling Becca he thinks about Lauren, that Becca knew his Lauren thoughts were recurring, and is dumping Becca on television to be with Lauren. Becca, you're better than Arie. This goes on for an excruciating amount of time which is why editing on TV is GOOD. Eventually Arie listens to the request to leave so Becca can cry. Becca is brought out on stage and hurt, upset, etc but she'll have to face Arie... tomorrow night.

After the Final Rose

I'm so annoyed with this season I don't want to write a full ATFR recap, so here's some lowdown. Becca flew home in a middle seat to Minneapolis and cried about Arie's hypocrisy. Arie flew to Virginia Beach to a happy Lauren to get her back and she was upset with Arie but OK now and they get back together. Some of the girls from the season return to lay into Arie being manipulative and lacking in empathy.  Becca is doing OK now and feels closure from seeing her 45 minute breakup aired on TV. Becca and Arie come face to face and it feels a lot like him trying to pass some blame and by sympathetic but sorry dude, NO WAY. They trot out Molly and Jason to remind you this happened before and it can be OK. Lauren and Arie are together now and think their drama and Arie's "bravery" made them stronger. But what's real rich is the statement that Arie "Couldn't have done it in a more respectful way" and I BEG TO DIFFER. After lots of blabbing that I don't care about, Arie proposes to Lauren in front of the audience. And of course Becca is The Bachelorette because DUH and it begins right away with bringing a few guys out, just like they did for Rachel. Alright this has to be a million times better than this garbage fire of a season. See you for Becca time!

[All images credited to ABC]