March 11, 2019

The Bachelor: Don't Tell, Show (and Dump)

3/11/2019 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Finale - Night 1

Chris Harrison and the producers get into a van to hunt down Colton, Live PD style. Eventually, they retrieve an emotionally exhausted and dejected Colton walking down the street and is ready for this whole thing to be over. The next morning, Chris Harrison comes to talk to Colton in his hotel room and the dude is heartbroken over going on without Cassie. He was falling for the other two girls, but in love with Cassie and thinks she loves him too but having two other girls in the picture scared her. "Or she's just not that into you," says Chris Harrison, the blunt speaker of possible truths.

Colton decides to not just tell but show Cassie she's the one. And so Colton heads to Tayshia's hotel room and ends things with her, so much so as saying he straight-up loves Cassie to Tayshia's face. Tayshia requests an off-camera conversation and her wish is actually granted of no-cameras, but their microphones are still on as they talk, cry, and hear pounding heartbeats. Tayshia grabs her purse and gets in the van to leave. Cut to, Tayshia reliving this at the live reunion in front of an audience and understanding that when he came to her hotel room and he seemed shaken she knew bad news was coming. Then Colton comes out with his hideous hair (WTF is happening dude??), and Tayshia wonders what was missing (he was all-in on Cassie, basically). Well I stan Tayshia for Bachelorette but I know this show will pick a blander choice, but please know Tayshia has my heart.

After what seems like 800 years, Hannah G actually appears on this show and is so excited for her Colton time. She has no clue what's coming and he informs Hannah G that he has stronger feelings for someone else and he loved Cassie. For a long time he thought it would be Hannah because she reminds him of "home" (what does that even mean??), but his heart went another way. She's crushed and blindsided. Even Colton doesn't know if he's doing the right thing and he sobs in the hallway, comforted by a producer. Colton wonders if he gave up a "for sure thing for something that isn't even possible." But he's willing to give it all up for Cassie. Cut to, Hannah G watching this all in front of the audience. Confused is Hannah's buzzword, but she's no longer in love with Colton because she deserves to be loved back. Hannah felt fairly led on with no reasons it would be a no (plus he got blessings), but why didn't she get maybe a little more of a chance? Colton didn't want to make her a backup plan because she didn't deserve it, and after the Cassie heartbreak he didn't want to be The Bachelor anymore and wasn't going to do a date he wasn't into. Hannah wants jumping-over-the-fence-for-me love and she's over this flop.

And THEN there's more filler, with ex-Bachelor Ben Higgins and Blake, Jason, and Garett - Colton's buddies from last season. It is not at all valuable.

Skip to, sad crying Colton knocks on the door to Cassie's room for a cliffhanger OF COURSE.

[All images credited to ABC]